Thursday, March 31, 2011

March of Kindness wrap up..

So how did I do on Code Name Mama's March of kindness?? I didn't post about it all month.. but I was wondering of a way to post without going look at me! look at what I did!! I don't think that way about other people.. I don't.. If I see someone posting about their deeds I'm like woo hoo! But I am so critical of myself often that when it comes to me I think that way..  Like shussh Tanya no one wants to hear how wonderful you are haha.. I sometimes do refer to myself in the third person so what though.

Anyway.. How did I do?  I'm going to be honest when it came to reminding myself to be kind, to do random things.. I FAILED!  yup! I failed... 

I never really remembered to make a note of what I was doing, and I never really made a list of what I wanted to get done.

I suck right? well... not quite...

See Today, as I kicked my butt for not following through so I could have something decent to post I realized WTF!  I AM SO KIND!  I am! everyday I am!  I just don't think about it, and I think it was difficult for me to think about it or make a note of it because though hard to believe for someone who is just judging me by my ramblings.. I am freaking nice!  It's in my nature.. it comes so naturally to me that I don't think about it and thinking about it hurt my brain.. it's like telling someone to remember to breathe... WAIT! before you roll your eyes.. I'm no Mother Teresa..  I've been known to curse at other drivers, flip the bird at bank tellers who are mean, etc.. but that's what they're not good natured to begin with..

See I'm the kind of person who doesn't just complain about bad customer service, I actually go seek out a supervisor when someone  is super awesome and I let them know!  I open doors pick up dropped stuff.. return money to its owners.. help friends in need.. I'll take the shirt of my back even if it's got holes in it.

When it came to my family, I didn't think I was necessarily as kind but you know what.. I freaking ROCK!

I take care of my house
I take care of my kids
I take care of other people's kids
I breastfeed when the chubster demands it even though I don't feel like it half the time
I co-sleep and bed share
I research the best options for my kids
I never take a sick day (daytime kids) as a matter of fact I was working the day after giving birth
I tell my hubby I love him everyday (he does the same )
I handle the finances
I make all the annoying phone calls even though I hate it! (banks, cable etc)
I plan parties, get togethers, outings with the grandma

You get the picture... stuff that we all do and take for granted and others take for granted because it is expected of us because that's what a mom does.. but you know what??

Not everyone is like that.. There's sadly plenty of moms and dads who say they want kids yet the minute they have them they're a nuisance to them. There are  moms who are never home, who don't play with their kids.. who don't tell their spouses they love them..

So with this I learned something... We all need to be kind to OURSELVES once in a while and remember how much we rock!

As for out  the ordinary random acts.. this month I did manage to give up my closet so that my 5 year old could fit a twin bed in our small room and have a special nook for herself..

I took care of one of my daytime kids over the weekend so his mom could be in her best friend's wedding sans kid.,
I donated to Japan's disaster victims via the American red cross
I bought 2 whole network bracelets..
I donated to a friend's son's trike-a-thon benefiting St Jude's

and now I feel like I'm going yaay me.. it feels weird but you know what.. yaay me! and especially YAAY YOU!! you all rock!!!

It's cool to be kind!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

When did the world become so dangerous?

I grew up being a  latchkey kid..  at the age of 5 I was taking care of my newborn brother all by myself.. (shocking I know!) We lived in Mexico, my dad worked across the street and the neighbor would check on us every hour or so.. I knew how to make a bottle of formula and my dad would come home on his breaks to cook me dinner.. this continued for most of our lives..  Something I could NEVER picture my 5 year old doing EVER!  I was even home alone during the Mexico Earthquake  September 1985,  IT was not near the epicentre but we still felt it..  and  I knew to grab my little brother (then 6 months old) and take him with me and sit under the table. The neighbor then came and took us with her while we waited for my mom to come home (I have no clue where my dad was)  I have such vivid memories of that day.

At the age of 6  I was in first grade, I was in the afternoon school it was 12 to 5pm  I remember one day all the kids were being picked up except for me.. I had no idea where my parents were and so after waiting for so long I decided to walk home.. The school was only half a mile from my home and I was tired of being alone at the school waiting. (School's over there are not as strict with student safety so no one knew what was happening)  I walked home only had to cross one street and no one was there... I waited in front of my house and no one came so I walked back tot he school and it's a good think because It was getting dark, I found my dad, apparently since I didn't sit in one place we kept missing each other.. (my dad was 25 around that time... my mom 29 I have no idea what the heck they were thinking)

At the age of 7 I was able to walk to and from school and at the age of 8 my 4 yr old brother and I used to walk a couple of blocks to the store .. by the age of 11 my brother was 7 we used to go get lost! We used to ride out bikes around the neighborhood and get into all sorts of adventures! All we had to do was come home at a certain time, after that either we had to eat dinner, do homework or depending on the season and amount of daylight we could go disappear for another couple of hours!  Those were the days!

We never thought it was odd or weird, the world wasn't scary, we knew how to cross streets, we knew not to get near strangers and most of the neighborhood knew us.. If something happened we could even go to the nearest store and they'd help us since they were all mom and pop shops.

Funny thing is.. my parents were always so anti sleep overs!! that was one thing that freaked them out!  They would let us our into the world but we couldn't sleep over a friend's house because they were worried about us getting molested or corrupted by the parents and they didn't want to bother getting to know them either.. my dad was very antisocial and my mom was forced to do the same since he was a jealous person.  My dad's mentality to this day is an enigma to me..

Anyway fast forward to me having my own kids..

The world scares me!!!!!

I could never leave my 5 year old to care for her sister.. I don't think she would even know what to do!  I cannot imagine her walking home to and from school alone, ever!  When you see the news about missing children.. it's always the kids walking alone!   Though I know most people that harm children are people the children know..

I want to cover my daughters in a bubble forever  but then again I don't want them to grow up naive, sheltered, scared!  I am sure there is a balance somewhere...  and I have to slowly learn to let go more and more..

Remember the lady that turned into a debate not that long ago for letting her 9yr old ride the subway alone? She has a site Freerangekids  A lot of what she says makes sense.. .

"Not that facts make any difference. Somehow, a whole lot of parents are just convinced that nothing outside the home is safe. At the same time, they’re also convinced that their children are helpless to fend for themselves. While most of these parents walked to school as kids, or hiked the woods — or even took public transportation — they can’t imagine their own offspring doing the same thing."

As my child gets older.. I start wondering about these things.. what kind of a childhood am I going to give her.. a sheltered caged one or a free range one...  Sure there is a balance..  but finding it is going to be one heck of an adventure..

What do you think about the subject?  Did you used to wonder off far from home too? Would you let your children? Have you even thought about this yet?  I'd love to hear your opinions.. especially from those with older children.. Do you let them be kids?

One Scaredy Cat Momma!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The 6 weeks post partum elephant in the room.

Today I read an awesome post by Hobo Momma  titled Post Partum Sex vs Sex Before kids.  It's pretty self explanatory but you have to go read it. .. it's true it validates how most of us feel about sex post partum.. however do we really know it's most of us?  Maybe you are reading this and you read her post and you realize you were not or are not alone.  Maybe it's been a year since you've had your baby and you still feel this way!.. When it comes to Sex let me tell you... anything goes! The Normal spectrum is large.  Thing is.. most people don't talk about it.. I myself am surprised I have never mentioned it..

Don't worry I don't plan on divulging my sex life with you all, I am a pretty open person and I see Sex as a healthy natural biological function and need.. but the magic is in the intimacy.

I then read a post by food Good Laundry bad that made me laugh!  Because in a way I related to her.. and I related to Hobo Momma at the same time..

I wanted to reply in a comment but I figured I'd make it into a post.. and this are my adventures in Post partum Sex.. You know the 6 week Elephant in the room.. what you know you can have after the wait..

After having my first daughter  and getting the 6 week waiting period lecture I was too scared to try. I had no idea why I had to wait 6 weeks but they said wait and I was going to wait.. besides stuff down there for the first couple of weeks isn't so nice.. Lochia, soreness, not to mention bathroom woes..  No sir stay away!!  Last thing I am thinking of is having something go in while I worked so hard to get something out.. But then at around 4 weeks I had a mental turmoil..

On one hand I felt like the Madonna .
I had grown a baby inside of me and I felt so motherly, so saintly, so pure.. My body was that of my baby and no one else beware he who dare touch this body which belonged to my child.. to grow .. to  nourish (I was half assed Breastfeeding you can read more about it in my booby trapped post)

I felt like Sex was disgusting, dirty and not something I should be doing with my new found mother role..

Seriously I don't know why.. it felt this way but I did.

And on the other hand..

 I had fallen in love with my husband all over again..
He had been part or creating this child with me.. we both had made her.. With Sex..  Such a beautiful act of love had resulted in a perfect human being part of us.. We had created something with our love..

And man that was so sexy! I would look at him and wanted to attack him! (in a good way)  I wanted to feel close to him again.

Did someone say  Raging hormones??!!!

Also..  the fact that they told us we couldn't  made us feel like high schoolers.. Society says no but the hormones scream YES!  and  it got the best of us..

It was uncomfortable but with lots of patience and love it ended up being awesome.. and beautiful and fulfilling.

Then came Daughter number 2!!

Way different experience!  I had a nice homebirth with my second daughter and recovery was easy but certain things weren't working right..

First off there was Lochia for 4 weeks! YES! I felt like aunt Flo was overstaying her welcome because she had not been able to visit for 9 months..  Then there was nursing.. I was Exclusively breastfeeding which made me feel "touched out" add to that a 4 yr old,  my daytime kids.. exhaustion.. Weight gain, I just felt overall blah!

I think at 5 weeks we tried it out.. it took a while!  I am so glad that my hubby and I have such open communication, he knew I wasn't liking it he asked if we should stop I told him I wanted to like it.. and eventually I did..  but after that..  sex was scarce.. We were both usually tired and as I had explained before.. breastfeeding was making me feel touched out!

After baby started nursing less often and we got used to our life as a family of four things got better we seemed to be regaining our healthy sex life again and  by December/January (baby was 9 months) we were at it as if trying to make up for lost time..  It was awesome!! and thus here I am 11 weeks pregnant.. (conceived in January  haha!) Thanks a lot hormones!

We're happy of course.. and well.. let's see what post partum a third time is like... probably lame with a 5y old a 19 month old and a newborn.. but I'll tell you something...

I'm for sure getting an IUD this time around! That way when my body and mind are in tune with having sex again. I'll be able to enjoy it for longer haha..!

How have your experiences been like? was your partner understanding? Did you miss the connection?

Thank you Hobo Momma for opening up this dialogue!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Playground Misfit.

Yesterday we Ventured to the Library and the playground, something we like to do once in a while..  The image above is the actual playground. The Playground isn't in our city it is on an  man made island nearby, In a "wealthy" part of town.  All sorts of people go there though.. and I kinda like the playground set up it is much nicer than the ones by our house.  I sat down to nurse my 1 yr old while my 5 yr old played with daddy,.

Every time I got to the playground I feel odd though..  I get a million thoughts in my head
Is this my life?
How old am I?
Am I like THAT parent?
Is that lady the mom or the nanny?
OH for pete's sake would it hurt that lady to let her kid get dirty?
I wonder how many of the newborns here are on formula..
I wonder if all these kids are happy beyond the playground..
I wonder if anyone here is AP or somewhat crunchy..
I wonder if they think I'm weird..
I wonder if they'll say something if I start breastfeeding right now..
I wonder why I wonder so much..

Then I start thinking about how much older the Caucasian parents are than us.. they all seem to be in their mid 40's too young to be grandparents (not impossible but I'd imagine not seen as often in the upper class?) And I think about how having children at that age has its advantages financially and patience-wise but on the other hand they all seem to be sitting down watching the kids play  or reading a book/on the phone while people like my husband interact..

The Nursling gets done with her business.. I get up and push my daughter in the swing while hubby puts the baby in another swing and I soon forget about the other parents :)

Moral of the story...
In the end..  worrying about what others do or don't do can make you miss out on what is really important, the people close to you, your family. It is when you focus on your family that the weight of the world seems so much more lighter.. I realize then why family is so important and why we were designed to crave family (in one way or another and different manifestations) .. when all gets to be too much.. they are your safe place, somewhere where you always belong and you never feel like a misfit.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Sharing a bed with my baby is an informed choice.

Sleeping in while momma was up!
 I am sick and tired of being put on the side of the ignorant coin when it comes to co-sleeping/bed sharing whatever it is you call it these days if you are into technicalities.. 

You increase SIDS, You could suffocate your baby, The dangers are too many!, Research says it is dangerous, and my favorite.. "I know someone whose baby died, from bed sharing" or "I know someone who knows someone whose baby died from bed sharing" It happens so often I almost always want to beat them to the punch and ask "Let me guess.. you know someone affected right?" I am sorry but I am a little sceptical of it most times.. how convenient that that is always the "winning argument" . . After all who could argue with someones grief, immediately the person shuts down if you ask them the circumstances, where safety guidelines used? Was the parent intoxicated?  Did the person know they were a heavy sleeper? Did the baby just stop breathing? (Something that would be considered SIDS in a crib yet blamed on bed sharing if it happens in the parent bed how biased is that?)

I want to tell the parents who are shocked about co-sleeping.. and see it as neglectful..
The majority of us breastfeed, babywear, research what we do and put into our children, we get the best car seats, go by the safest guidelines.. and you think if we choose to share a bed with our baby that we do it because we're dumb or ignorant?  Nope.. we do it because we researched it.. because it works for us because we practice it safely.

When you see the Infant death Numbers resulting in bed sharing you are not seeing the whole story.

There is a term experts call "Chaotic bed-sharing" which is used to describe people who bed share not by informed choice but because
A) They cannot afford a crib
B) They do not have the living space/correct arrangements
C) They accidentally fall asleep with baby these are not people who regularly bed share.. parent could be intoxicated and fallen asleep with baby.. (Sadly some people do live like that)

When you see charts and studies this is what you see
CPSC Warns Against Placing Babies in Adult Beds; Study finds 64 deaths each year from suffocation and strangulation
now it doesn't tell you the circumstances.. if it was chaotic bed sharing or informed bed sharing.. if proper guidelines where practiced or not.. if the parent was intoxicated.. etc.. it just says babies died and we immediately flip.

Doesn't it seem fishy to you that the Consumer Product Safety commission would be issuing such statements? I mean are they saying beds are unsafe? No they're telling you the safest place is your crib.. the things they are there to regulate.

The United States Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) is an independent agency of the United States Government created in 1972 through the Consumer Product Safety Act  States Government to protect "against unreasonable risks of injuries associated with consumer products.
The CPSC has the authority to regulate the sale and manufacture of more than 15,000 different consumer products, from cribs to all-terrain vehicles, and from barbecue grills to swimming pools. *wikipedia

They have the authority to regulate the sale and manufacture of cribs..
The same people who approved cribs that are now motioned to be made illegal.. the same cribs who have killed babies.

Why have they not gone to the extremes of telling you all cribs are unsafe? Of course they pinpointed drop side cribs and detailed how the accidents happened but they don't do the same with co-sleeping research.

Let me get back on the ball here.. and I this is not about which method is better if your baby in on a crib it's your choice nothing wrong with that.. whatever works for you in this case.. just like bed sharing is my choice. Especially because it has helped me a great deal with breastfeeding, I don't know if I would have made it this year breastfeeding if I had to get up to sit down and breastfeed everytime she woke up.

I cannot say Co-sleeping is 100% safe.. I would be lying  but you cannot say
Sleeping in a crib is 100% safe because.. given the recent news.. you would be lying too!

When we make an informed choice on bed sharing, we know to take precautions we know if we are capable or not.. I know someone who would have loved to co-sleep but she knew she is a heavy sleeper so bed sharing for her would be too risky. I also know of people who would have loved to as well but their husbands are the heavy sleepers or they use a CPAP Machine.. it's all about weighing your options and making an informed choice.

When my instincts told me to share a bed with my baby, I made sure to follow the guidelines and be safe about it.. I also rouse very easily something that is mentioned in  a sleep study done by Dr. James McKenna

"Anthropological and developmental studies suggest that mothers and infants are designed to respond to the presence of the other, and no data have ever shown that among mother-baby pairs who co sleep for breast feeding in a safe cosleeping/bed-sharing environment that mothers are unable to sense the proximity of their babies in order to avoid smothering them. Our own laboratory sleep studies of co sleeping/bed-sharing mothers infant pairs (2 to 4 month olds) reveal that both breast feeding mothers and their infants are extremely sensitive throughout their night - across all sleep stages - to the movements and physical condition of the other. The healthy infant, which includes most infants, are able to detect instances, where for example, their air passages are blocked. They can respond very effectively to alert the mother to potential danger, and they have the physical skills to maneuver out of danger, under normal circumstances. That being said, modern societies and the objects on which we sleep and the social and physical conditions within which bed-sharing can and often does occur especially among the urban poor forces professionals to be very guarded when discussing bed-sharing and/or co sleeping. The truth is that there is no one outcome (good or bad) that can be associated with co sleeping in the form of "bed-sharing, but rather a range of outcomes (from potentially beneficial to dangerous and risky) depending on the overall circumstances within which the co sleeping takes place. " READ MORE HERE....

Here's a Co-sleeping Fact sheet on "The Baby Bond"  I wish the facts would be a bit more updated but they put things into perspective nonetheless

Number of U.S. births year 2000: 4,058,814

Total infant deaths year 2000: 28,411
Age birth to 1 year. (6.9 per thousand)
Number SIDS deaths year 2000: 2,523
Defined as death with unexplained cause, birth to 1 year.
Total suffocation deaths year 2000: 1,000
Number of crib-related "accidents"/yr: 50
Number of playpen-related deaths/yr: 16
Number deaths/yr attributed to overlying: 19 Most are only "suspected."
Number of babies (0-2) dying in night fires/yr: 230 Many of which may have been retrievable if next to parent, not in another room of home. This is true for abductions and other night dangers as well.
Number of deaths/yr in adult beds reported as entrapment/suffocation between bed and wall, headboard, or other furniture, on water bed, in headboard railings, or tangled in bedding: 18 With side-rail: 1 That's 19 of the 60.
Number of deaths/yr reported as suffocation of unknown cause in adult bed: 13 These would be SIDS if in a crib. Remember, these do not necessarily involve co sleeping.
Number of deaths/yr in adult beds from prone sleeping: 5 Again, these are considered SIDS in cribs, and they are preventable in adult beds, as in cribs.

4/yr died not from falling out of adult bed, but from suffocating (pile of clothes, plastic bag) or other danger (such as drowning) after falling out.

13% of U.S. infants are routinely co sleeping with nearly 50% sharing bed for part of the nights. National Institute of Child Health and Human Development 2000 Survey,

Number of U.S. infant lives that could be saved per year by exclusive/extended breastfeeding: 9,000 Exclusive/extended breastfeeding cuts SIDS risk and cuts overall infant death risk in half.

And My favorite reason to bed share?? this..
Kate Evans - The food of love
Again this is not a "bed sharing is better than crib sleep" post..  I just want to say.. I bed share.. I am aware of the "risks" I am informed and I know what I am doing.  But just like I take precautions with bed sharing,  if you use a crib, please take precautions as well... nothing is certain and nothing is 100% safe.
If you don't like the idea of bed sharing, maybe try the crib in your room.. I know with my first daughter.. I decorated this beautiful elaborate nursery only to not use it.. She slept in a crib but my instincts still told me to keep her nearby... I felt safer that way..
Either way.. know that my choice is not one done lightly.. I did what was right for us.

Monday, March 21, 2011

2011 WIC Budget cuts..

IF you haven't heard yet.. Republicans are looking into Cutting WIC funding by 10%    Ok.. We agree.. WIC is costing a lot of unnecesary taxpayer money when it comes to easily providing formula you can read some of that on this great post by not so average hippie Mommy Formula Vs Breastfeeding: You might think it doesn't but it DOES concern you!   She wrote that after reading and article stating that  If all WIC babies in the U.S. were breastfed, our economical savings would be $33,000,000 per MONTH!

and here we are... Good old Politicians.. with the answer to all..   Let's cut WIC funding! Yaay! (rolls eyes)

I've been trying to research more on the subject I hear 10% in some places 30% in some .. I find articles suchs as this.. stating that

*WIC could see a 30% budget cut which would mean a reduction in staff and those eligible for it's services. Some 70% to 90% of funding for WIC goes toward employees wages and WIC would also have to re-evaluate who would need help the most with the reduction of resources because of its budget cut. I wonder if the 33 Mil a month would cover it?

Summary: How Budget Proposals Will Affect Food Programs

*Funds WIC at $6.5 billion, a cut of $747.2 million. The Food Research and Action Center estimates that the $6.5 billion funding level would be adequate to serve families currently receiving WIC and would not result in waiting lists for the program. However, this assumes level food prices and demand for services; if either of these increases substantially, this funding level might be insufficient to serve the current caseload. In addition, this funding level precludes the enhancement of the fruit and vegetables benefits for children.

*As it stands, the proposed cuts are deep indeed. The Women, Infants and Children program, which provides food for low-income pregnant women, mothers and young children, would receive a $758 million cut, about 10 percent. It was unclear whether the reductions would force people off of the program.
Read more:

This was googling,  it didn't narrow down anything and I didn't find  the answers I needed.. here are my questions:
I need straight answers, I got an e-mail  the other day which is when I found out about it was a women crying about not being able to afford formula.. Wahh no pity from me there..
If it turns away people who need it I have a problem with that...
If it cuts workers from it.. I have a problem with that..
If it makes it so they can't afford the very few lactation consultants it has.. I have a problem with that..
I tell you what you can cut... Formula, how about you don't provide formula the first 3 months?  Or.. make it available prescription only.. or switch to generic (not like having brand name formula is safer.. look at Similac and their bug parts)
How about you don't give people 90 jars of baby food at 6 months of age? I've NEVER  used them!  In the past six months I only cashed in 40 to keep in case of emergency.  That is 500 JARS OF FOOD I saved you!  Can you imagine someone really using 90 jars of baby food a month?  anyway.. 20-30 should be plenty for most.
How about you reduce the amount of milk? I get so much milk in each coupon it's ridiculous!
WIC has been a great deal of help to me.I am so grateful the taxes I pay have helped me back.. (YES I pay Taxes too! I am a work at home mom who pays taxes quarterly! My husband pays taxes as well! ) . but even I don't use all of the coupons, I don't need that much baby food, I don't need that much cereal, I don't need that much milk.. I don't need that much juice.. .  Veggies is another story  more of those would be nice.. but if the budget cuts take those away it will be a sad sad day..
SO If WIC gets its funding cut.. please before you go laying people off.. turning people away, cutting produce vouchers..  Please.. Re evaluate how the money is being spent!  Re-Budgeting vouchers would help keep those jobs and avoid turning people away.  How sad would it be if WIC would come down to a waiting list!
One thing you can do if on WIC.. Breastfeed!  Save coupons!
ONE MORE QUESTION: WHERE IS THE MONEY BEING CUT GOING TO??? I cannot seem to find any mention to that... I'm a taxpayer.. I want to know! 
If you didn't follow any links please visit a new found gem!  WIC WOES: An insider's look at WIC as a former employee and client.  Awesome Blog!

What a difference 1 year makes!

I remember when 1 year seemed like a long time to me...  Now it seems like a blink of an eye.  I think this is why I like New Year's Eve.. I get to look back on my year and wonder what the new year will bring.
Well.. today I am reflecting on a year from March 21st 2010 to March 21st 2011.

Dear Silly girl:

A year ago at this very moment I was exhausted! You were born at 1:15am and the midwives didn't leave til 4am.  We got little sleep but  I was so happy!  We were about to embark on our breastfeeding journey as well ... I cannot believe today marks our 1 year breastfeeding milestone! Something that never happened  with your sister unfortunately.. but thanks to her I learned to become a better mom.

We found out you had Tongue tie but that didn't stop us! We figured a way to nurse without having to touch your frenulum. It worked for us!  We have been through a roller coaster of breastfeeding, mastitis, colds (few of them thankfully) teething, venturing into cloth diapering. (I love your fluffy bottom!)

You have been teaching me so much as well...  You are such a funny, silly, smart, enthusiastic, baby!  You taught me that indeed.. I could love another child of mine just as much as my first.. I love you SOOOOOO much I cannot imagine life without you.. you fit into our family so perfectly as if you were always here.. you were meant to be!  You made my heart grow that much bigger...

Yesterday we finally planted the placenta that connected us, some people would find that weird but not to us.. Your daddy, your sister.. your grandma and auntie were there with us..

We planted it in your grandma's garden on the house where you were born.. under the big lemon tree we all love so much.. (It's our favorite fruit!) You'll soon learn we put lemon on everything!

We closed the hole and placed the stork back on top of it.. and then we realized how appropriate that the stork is guarding the placenta.

We said some words  we gave thanks that you have grown healthy and strong this past year, we wished that the placenta gave its nutrients back to the earth and make that lemon tree grow healthy.. because when life gives you lemons.. we make margaritas!  (yeah that's how your crazy family rolls!)

And I think you'll find yourself lucky to be part of us... We'll always take care of you and love you! Your grandmas will always spoil you rotten!

And so we celebrated!  You got the Head of the table...

We sang Happy Birthday to you!
And you had some cake... which you absolutely loved!

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!  Here's to Many Many Many more!  We love you soooo much!

Friday, March 18, 2011

How Do I break the cycle?

How do you break the cycle once they're older?  Being a gentle parent is so easy, when they're babies and toddlers!   As Babies all you have to do is make decisions on their behalf that lead to a peaceful healthy environment where they can thrive. As a toddler you make sure they don't hurt themselves as they experience their new found mobility and independence while still keeping a loving nurturing environment.. if they have a tantrum  you know it is typical of their age, that they are just frustrated and their bodies, minds and voices don't yet act in conjunction with one another. They're not trying to hurt your feelings and they don't know how to manipulate you.. they know  cause and effect but  it is easy to throw curb balls at them and steer them in a different direction.  It's a challenge but it is a piece of cake compared to what comes next..

and perhaps this is a piece of cake compared to what comes after this.. but this is my reality at the moment.

How can I be a gentle parent to a 5 yr old who has clear thoughts, likes and dislikes, strong feelings, and wit, not to mention an element of drama.

Behold subject in case 5 yr old.

She is loving, funny, caring, artistic, intelligent, curious, witty, <--really I could go on and on after all she's my daughter which parent doesn't find great qualities in her kiddo :)

And with that comes, dramatic, neurotic, OCD, PERSNICKETY! (describes her to a t!) did I mention dramatic? And boy can she hurt my feelings ...

Today for example while walking  to drop of my daytime kid at his bus stop I was making conversation with her..

Me:  How do you want me to fix your hair today?
DD#1:  .....
Me: Hey! How do you want me to fix your hair today, braids, pony tail, side pony tail?
DD#1: ...
Me: Why wont you answer me?
DD#1: Because I don't feel like talking to you..
Me: Why?..Are you mad at me?
DD#1: (returns to being silent)
Me: Ok.. if you're upset let me know why... I don't think I made you upset today..
DD#1: Be quiet! I just don't want to talk to you!

Part of me... got really sad and hurt and part of me got VERY enraged!  I yelled.. I yelled mean things.. (and now I'm crying)  I told her back in my days I would have gotten a smack in the face for talking to my mother like that and that she should appreciate that I don't do that.. I asked why she was being a brat.. I told her if she wanted to be a brat she could look for  a new family... (WHOA WHERE DID ALL THAT COME FROM!)  The words just flowed.. from a dark place in me.. it is not the first time either..  I am trying to be gentle I have been all of her  5 years up until recently... when she started being defiant, mean, hurtful.

It is difficult to pause and analyze the situation when the ones throwing curve balls are them!

There are many things wrong with that I did I know that first of all telling her she was lucky I didn't smack her.. why do I need acknowledgement? She shouldn't even know that smacking your kids is an option for anyone..because it shouldn't be..  I said mean hurtful things.

I apologized when she started crying because I was being mean... I reminded myself of my father.. mentally abusive.. bringing us down, humiliating us and hurting our self esteem only to apologize later and try to buy our affection back with food. (another blog)  Things are not as severe as how he was but I see some of him in me... and I don't like it.

How can I stop myself from the urge to yell, to hurt back?
How can I stop from seeing her as defiant and someone who needs to obey?

I know she has a mind of her own.. and I want her to be respectful..  but I need to teach respect with respect.

I have read many blogs and articles about peaceful parenting but most come from people with children under 3 or 4..  all I can say is piece of cake! I want to know what happens at 5-9-11-13--16! 

How do I save my children from this cycle I come from?

How do I breathe and teach them to be gentle themselves?

Don't get me wrong there is more good than bad... but sometimes.. it just gets out of control..
Any Suggestions from moms with older children?

Very Sincerely
A very sad confused momma...

Back when everything was less complicated.

This Moment.. "Complete Relief"

I am participating on The Leaky Boob's "This Moment" Fridays.. (It's like Wordless Wednesday but on Fridays) I love the idea because she mentioned it makes you "look" for those moments that easily escape us and we'll never get back.  

This Moment... "Complete relief"  our little sea Monkey is growing :)

Looks like Placenta is on the right meaning left.. another baby girl? who knows.. I sure hope so! Girls Rule!

Link your  moments on the comments if you want to participate I'd love to see yours!  

Sunday, March 13, 2011

What's wrong with the Ghandi approach?

You must be the change you want to see in the world.
Mahatma Gandhi

“If humanity is to progress, Gandhi is inescapable. He lived, thought, acted and inspired by the vision of humanity evolving toward a world of peace and harmony.” - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

As a "gentle" "peaceful" parent would you tell your child "Do as I say not as I do?" Or.. "Do not do as I say, and do as I do only if you agree with me" (good luck with a teen!) 

Why is it that we're promoting peaceful, gentle parenting yet when it comes to other fellow humans especially those who dare disagree with us (even if you are right and they are wrong) ..why does that go out the window?

I have noticed a  pattern lately of some bloggers calling out  middle of the road, and  "wishy washy" people.. claiming they have lack of passion, do not have a backbone or they don't have a firm stance and are thus contributing to the problem or as some have even called it "evil".

Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment. — Mahatma Gandhi

Let me tell you something.. "evil" is in the eye of the beholder...  If you are an intactivist and you see someone that circumcised their child as evil, they might think the same of you for attacking them.

If you don't vaccinate someone will be thinking you are neglecting your children and exposing them to danger
If you do vaccinate someone will be thinking you are neglecting your children and exposing them to danger.

by the way there is a gray area here..I'm proud and PASSIONATE about this as much as you are about your black or your white.

If someone chooses not to participate in such debates in order to preserve the peace it is not because they are being passive or apathetic.. they might know better ..they might know that an "eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind"  another great Ghandi quote..

Take debates online for instance.. Intactivists vs the circ crowd.. back and forth debating.. wasting energy on giving information to people that don't want to listen.  Meanwhile the "passive" ones post information, if they want it good.. if they don't it's their loss. I actually have reached many friends who have not though about that decision yet because they don't have children or because they have girls to think about it.. I have gotten messages about how they learned from the info. That is where people should focus.. not attacking each other.. information will just get lost there.. I assure you no one is going to say.. "Hallelujah I have seen the light! You are right and I have been wrong"  without being sarcastic..

which leads me to another Ghandi quote..

Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err. It passes my comprehension how human beings, be they ever so experienced and able, can delight in depriving other human beings of that precious right.
Mahatma Gandhi, 1931

We all as moms have good intentions when we discuss such "hot topics" really the majority of us don't do it just to "stir the pot"  When someone mentions vaccines, breastfeeding, circumcision, gentle parenting... we do so to tell people how great it has worked for us or how the research we have done has lead us to discover we were going about things wrong.. or that this other way is better for you. And we want you to learn with us and to possibly avoid harm to your children or you.. or spare you the trouble of  having to get up at night to make a bottle of when you can nurse in bed...  We do not think you are a bad mother.. nor we will hate you if you decide you really don't agree with us. A two way conversation IS possible and I've had many  of those! Did I agree with the other! did the other person agree with me? No..but a seed was planted of understanding where each other comes from. And in turn it leaves both sides open to further info and perhaps maybe a complete understanding.

Think about us as that person who has just found the light in their Lord, and they are so happy they want to share that with everyone! they want everyone to be as happy as they are so they might go on the street and try to get your attention to tell you about their experience  not to force you into it but to invite you. However.. we have seen so many people trying to force their views on some that it has made a cynic out of many that  instead of being received with a smile or with an ear.. he gets pushed.."get out of my way" and cursed at.. "I don't have time for your nonsense!

It is because People who attack make our effort harder and make people prone to being defensive on certain issues.

Ultimately we have the right to err... none of us have been exempt from that..  Look at Mayim Bialik.. on a pedestal for her gentle ways.. a representative of the Holistic Mom's network yet when it came to the fact she circumcised her boys she fell from the pedestal in the eyes of some and she was attacked..
I do not condone her being attacked even if I don't agree with her.  However to the peaceful people who posted info on her page.. what bothered them was not that so much that she circumcised her boys what's done is done.. it was the fact that she deleted their comments where they were not attacking people.. including those of fellow Jewish mothers and fathers..  and chose only to leave the comments attacking the other side  the side she was not on.. and constantly making snarky remarks inviting more discussion yet complaining when the discussion didn't go her way or tell her how wonderful she is.
That is not peaceful! That is not gentle..
How is it we boast about our gentle ways yet we can turn around and  attack other mothers with fierceness and without compassion or a heart..
How is it we talk about rights, respect, equality, freedom, yet when things don't go our way we deny the same to others..
I love this post by the Leaky boob "Passionate advocacy or cyber bullying" There is definitely an thin line between those
"Thoughts on radical acceptance" by raising my boychick "A poor explanation makes it sound like optimism on speed, or hippie passivity, or dressed up defeatism, when it is absolutely none of those things" and she explains what she means..  A must read!
I invite you to next time that things get heated...  stop... breathe... hug your babies take them for a walk, eat some ice cream, dance,  and let the other side be, (whichever side that might be for you) Do not add fuel to the fire.. just let it be. When the time comes again,..  you can rise and spread your knowledge, you can gather strenght and clear thoughts and keep fighting the good fight... but when your morale is being threatened by overwhelming opposition  backing down is not surrendering.. backing down and gathering strenght is wise.
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
Mahatma Gandhi

Don't you just love Ghandi?  

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Dear Pillow Pals.. You Suck! ( A real review!)

Yeah.. they suck!  and it's so sad..  They did a great Job of Marketing this to the kids and My daughter was not the exception when she made it clear she wanted one.. she HAD to have one.. I was weary of getting her a pillow made out of the same material as a stuffed animal.. all I kept thinking was eww dust magnet.

But Grandma being a grandma.. Bought one for her last October for Christmas at her local Bed bath and Beyond. She did not make it to Christmas, she gave it to her immediately, she could not wait to see her granddaughter's face. Well my little girl was so excited!  She took it home and immediately that very same night.. a seam busted open.  I then sat there meticulously sewing the seam shut, and daughter went on her Merry way.. She has been sleeping with it since..  2 busted and fixed seams later, She threw up on it one night, The Hubby of course without thinking put it in the wash and the dryer only to find that seam spit all the way open and the stuffing came flying out. Lucky for my daughter I hoard crafting paraphernalia and had some new stuffing handy.. this time.. I zig-zag stitched the damn thing!

See, what buying made in China does? thing is these suckers weren't cheap!  You'd be better off buying the knock offs..

My kid's attached to this thing.. so I give them that. But Lesson learned... I wonder how much these people profited  out of disappointing so many kids and awful customer service.

Have you ever been sold a lemon toy?

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Innocent little shampoo...

Ignorance is bliss...  when you don't know you feel no duty or obligation to change things... except that sometimes.. what you don't know can potentially hurt you.

It occurred to me today to look up the ingredients in my daughter's shampoo.  She hates having her hair washed  so I figured if I let her pick a shampoo the bath time struggle would come to an end.. but I was wrong... either way I eventually got her to trust me to tilt her head all the way back to let me rinse her hair.

The Shampoo she picked.. a pink strawberry one with a bright cartoon character.. of course people who study years of marketing know how to make a  product seem kid friendly while appealing to the kids. And I admit they definitely appealed to my pocket.

Water, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Cocamidopropyl Hydroxysultaine, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Dimethiconol, Carbomer, Fragrance, Polyquarternium-10, Sodium Citrate, Tea-Dodecylbenzenesulfonate, Tetrasodium EDTA, DMDM Hydantoin, PEG-150 Distearate, Methylchloroisothiazolinone, Methylsothiazolinone, PPG-9, Mica, Titanium Dioxide, Red 33

I want to list every ingredient and what I found but it is too much to list so I will give you links and a small snippet  to the ones I found most disturbing..  There's a thing to this.. my daughter would complain of burning in the eyes.. which I did not believe (she tends to over dramatize certain situations) and I blamed it on her not liking the water to hit her face.. I mean after all the darned thing said it was tear free! (man I feed bad now.. you will see why)

Sodium Laureth Sulfate  Both Sodium Laureth Sulfate (SLES) and its close relative Sodium Lauryl Sulfate (SLS) are commonly used in many soaps, shampoos, detergents, toothpastes and other products that we expect to "foam up". Both chemicals are very effective foaming agents, chemically known as surfactants.

Unfortunately, both sodium laureth sulfate and its cousin are also very dangerous, highly irritating chemicals. Far from giving "healthy shining hair" and "beautiful skin", soaps and shampoos containing sodium laureth sulfate can lead to direct damage to the hair follicle, skin damage, permanent eye damage in children and even liver toxicity.

So why is a dangerous chemical like sodium laureth sulfate used in our soaps and shampoos?

The answer is simple - it is cheap. The sodium laureth sulfate found in our soaps is exactly the same as you would find in a car wash or even a garage, where it is used to degrease car engines.

In the same way as it dissolves the grease on car engines, SLES also dissolves the oils on your skin, which can cause a drying effect. It is also well documented that it denatures skin proteins, which causes not only irritation, but also allows environmental contaminants easier access to the lower, sensitive layers of the skin.

This denaturing of skin proteins may even be implicated in skin and other cancers.

DMDM Hydantoin For dead humans, they won’t probably mind getting a good dose of formaldehyde. Formaldehyde is used in embalming and it is also emitted by imidazolidinyl urea and DMDM hydatoin. These two formaldehyde-emitting chemicals are found in most of our personal care products in the market today. This substance can be in liquid or gas form, colorless and with a very distinctive smell.

Initially, formaldehyde is used for synthetic resins and textiles. Nowadays, it can also be found with your makeup, lipstick, baby shampoos, and moisturizers. For personal care products, they inhibit bacterial growth thus prolonging shelf life. Other uses of formaldehyde are for waterproofing fabrics, enhancing dyes, production of adhesives and binding construction materials.

This substance is known to cause cancer. Aside from that, it can also induce skin blisters, skin inflammation or dermatitis, dryness of skin and severe breathing problems. When absorbed in large doses, it can cause cancer while if inhaled, it can induce serious irritation to the eyes, nose and throat.

I googled more but found nothing as shocking.. though a lot of them were labeled carcinogens..
in my quest I also found this article about the safety of your baby wash..

in the same blog you will find How safe is your shampoo/conditioner.. (L'Oreal kids shampoo score SHOCKING!) and How  safe is your toothpaste
I know there are many untapped natural products out there.. a very commonly known California Baby  I discovered when looking for a safe Sunscreen I could use on my 3 month old since I was taking her to Palm Springs and she needed sunscreen but most say under 6 months to consult a Dr.  I gulped at the 20 dollars but decided it was well worth it.. and it was that thing lasts forever!
The Shampoo.. sure.. $10-14 dollars  for a shampoo seems like a lot compared to that $2.94 shampoo.. BUT I keep reading that it ends up lasting 4-6 them most I heard.. 8 months!  So it comes out to about the same!  EUREKA! Just how I discovered detergent with out all the chemicals and additives worked better for my laundry.. Personal care products work the same way..
I am changing our products.. one at a time.. especially for the sake of my children. Sure we can say carcinogens chemicals are everywhere BUT if we can have one less agent attacking them it can only be good for their health when it comes to the big picture right?
Besides the fact that you would be buying most likely from companies that don't do animal testing and that are environmentally responsible.  And made in the U.S!
I later that night stumbled onto this.. Conscious living manifesto I invite you to check it out!
Other places to check out
Conscious community facebook
One Natrion Under Mom
California Baby on facebook
Got any advice? DO you have favorite chemical free products? Are you an expert in no-poo? Know of more pages like this? Any suggestions?  please feel free to share! <3

Monday, March 7, 2011

It's all fine and dandy until....

Here's the thing... I'm very middle of the road and I am a sympathetic person, I do put myself in other people's shoes and I do respect the fact that people have feelings.  However I am passionate about certain subjects,  If you glimpse through this blog you'll find that I am pretty mellow and I am not pro black nor pro white.. I am a make your own choices and be happy with them advocate.

Until I talked about circumcision...  and the statement that got deconstructed, misquoted and selectively read by certain people. In "I'm going to give my newborn a tattoo" I wrote:

"I Do not judge parents who have circumcised their children... I DO judge those who then refuse to read the information that they didn't read before and admit their mistake. Because I doubt anyone who reads all the evidence would still do this to their child. Especially after watching the videos of circumcisions being performed. I could have posted those here but I didn't want to go there."

let me clarify this...

I Do not judge parents who have circumcised their children
it is not my right to judge, I do not know your circumstances..

You could have done it not thinking you had a choice  "A Mother's guilt" by Adventures in Mommyhood
They could have done it without your consent "No Longer Intact: My son's story" by Barbara Smalley
It could be really important to your religion so much so you felt like God would not forgive you. "Circumcision: a Source of Jewish Pain"  "A letter from a father to a son"
You could have been pressured "Circumcision: What the didn't tell me" by Honestly yours, Me.
You could've really just had the best intentions at the time for your child.  "a Letter to my son" by Lauren Stone
You could also be very pro male circumcision and have researched and found that it was the way to go for you. "Proud Moms of circumcised boys" on cafemom group.

I do not know.. and it is none of my business! What you did already if it was your flat out choice is yours to deal with if you are ok with that, no need to explain, defend, or try to validate. And there is no need for anyone to attack you. 

I DO judge those who then refuse to read the information that they didn't read before and admit their mistake. Because I doubt anyone who reads all the evidence would still do this to their child. Especially after watching the videos of circumcisions being performed. I could have posted those here but I didn't want to go there.

This is where I royally fucked up.. (pardon my french)
I gave you the opportunity to read this first...
I DO judge those who then refuse to read the information that they didn't read before and admit their mistake.

And immediately go red in the eyes, then blinded by the outrage of my arrogant cuntness as someone called me,  over me calling what you did a mistake..  you missed the rest..

Because I doubt anyone who reads all the evidence would still do this to their child. Especially after watching the videos of circumcisions being performed. I could have posted those here but I didn't want to go there.

I should've softened the blow beforehand not punched you then helped you back up.

I guess more people would've read the whole paragraph in its entirety if it would've said:

I Do not judge parents who have circumcised their children , however if after being presented with evidence, and watching videos or circumcisions being performed, you still would do this or not admit that perhaps what was done to your child was a mistake then I judge. And I would have gone there with the videos...

It is because I put myself in other people's shoes that I cannot be middle of the road about circumcision, I put myself in that baby's shoes, how can you watch this and not feel anguish for them, which is why most parents are "spared" from being present during the procedure.

It's all fine and dandy until you question your decisions as a parent or feel that others are questioning you. I have been there, I have felt attacked because I was uncomfortable with my choices.. However I don't expect you to change your mind.. and you shouldn't expect me to validate your choice to circumcise.. at least maybe if you can at least sit down and watch all the videos I just posted and tell me with your heart that you would do it again if time could be turned back. Then I would sit down open my heart and listen to your reasons why you would.

The links I posted up there, with the exception of the cafemom one, and the Jewish father who did not circumcise, are all moms who circumcised for different reasons I invite you to read their stories.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Intent, delivery and acknowledgement: The sugar to your lemonade.

In the gentle parenting world we all have our views and ideals. Some would argue that some of those ideals are more extreme than others. I consider myself middle of the road in some cases, that is not to say that I can not take a firm stance on something I feel passionate about if to me it seems like the only way. For example breastfeeding, though I made many mistakes when I started on this parenting road, I learned and can now tell you I could never be middle of the road on breastfeeding, I will never tell someone formula is ok.. I may acknowledge that in some cases (very rare because I can still argue donor milk can be a choice).. In some cases like complete rejection by the body of human milk that formula though not the ideal could be the last resort.  But that would be rare...

With that said.. do not confuse my middle of the road views at times for lack of  a backbone.. I can assure you I can stand by gray.. with the same passion as I choose black or white.. If I feel gray is reasonable and there is no tangible proof to me that black or white are  right.

That to me is the parenting area where discipline, (I hate that word.), rules, examples, behavior, education come to play.

You will find extremes from raising a child like a soldier, all the way to not making your child say please, thank you, learn to share or be expected to act politely.  Both work for parents that choose to go that route but not for me..

Outcomes on both sides will still vary!  For every child raised like a soldier that becomes successful and appreciative of the parents efforts  I assure you there is another one that grows up to be resentful and angry, and backlashes, perhaps engaging in less than desirable behavior.  For every free spirited child of a hippie in the 60's I assure you some grew up to crave structure and stability and made sure they included that in their future families.

Then thing is when it comes to parenting there is no right nor wrong answer.. there is no book that will tell you everything you need to know to guarantee you a successful well rounded person..

there is a couple of things... Intent, delivery and acknowledgment.


If you decide to raise your child as a soldier or a free spirit you must ask yourself what is your intent?
Do you mean well? Meaning is this to make your life easier or is it to teach your child a valuable lesson.

It is not the same to raise an unstructured child because you lack the info and you don't know what to do .. or to rebel at how you were brought up than to do so out of wanting his natural tendencies to surface and deal with the emotions behind them and to do so with research, as to what this entails.

It is not the same to raise a soldier out of enforcing your supreme authority  than to raise a soldier knowing that hard work and discipline can be keys to a successful path.


Do you keep in mind that your child is still a child? are you empathetic?  DO you know when to question and re-evaluate if what you are doing is working?  Do you consider giving in failure in your part, or do you see it as a message that you might want to change something. Do you feel like it is you vs your child.
If you enforce rules do you do it kindly but sternly, or sternly but kindly?  All of this to me makes a difference.


I think we must acknowledge that human nature.. is human nature..  the most basic human needs according to  Manfred Max-Neef  are








identity and


are we acknowledging and making sure these needs are met, regardless of what parenting style we adopt?
Do we acknowledge that when it comes to parenting we know nothing?  We know what we have lived and we practice what we choose.. but in reality, do we acknowledge that no matter what you do, your child will grow up to be an adult with a mind and free will of his own?
Do we acknowledge that as your child grows the rules of the game will change.. you cannot treat a teenager like a child? Maybe a toddler yes but not a kid ?
Do we acknowledge that we have to be there for our children.. no matter how busy, how tired, or how much you need to work.. you need to be there.
Do we acknowledge that our job is to steer them the right way not dictate it.
Do we acknowledge we are not perfect.
I think parenting no matter what style you choose to follow.. can be like a pitcher of lemonade. If you just add lemon to water it's going to end up a  bitter mess....  Sugar by itself is just sugar... and who wants to eat spoonfuls of just that? You'll get sick.. but mix them together int he right amounts and you might end up with  something refreshing.
I don't have all the answers... I don't claim either side..I am not a parenting guru  but I am a mom just like you.. and all I know is before I choose to take a plan of action in regards to my child's upbringing I always make sure I got those 3 areas covered..  I am not looking for the next Super Doctor.. I am not looking for the next philosopher.. I am looking for a well rounded, HAPPY, caring, responsible adult.. that can look back and say.. I am thankful to my parents.. without them I would not be where I am today.... no matter what path they choose. 
In the end you do what works for you.. like I said there is no right or wrong.. we wont know if what we do has worked until our children are adults..  But hopefully I have inspired some to lighten up in their quest to find the "perfect parenting method" as you will not find it in a book. Nature is smart.. she gave us a heart, a conscience and instincts. I think if we listen to those.. we will be ok.

Friday, March 4, 2011

5 years in Pictures..

Half a Decade! ;---haha that sounds like a long time. But it's not... it has gone by so fast..

5 years ago I  gave birth to you My little cheeky monkey.. It was not the birth I had hoped for but you were finally here and you were finally mine!

You came into our lives and you turned them upside down!
You turned us into people we couldn't even anticipate we'd become
You made us vulnerable
You made us humble
You made us caring
You made us responsible
You made us proud
You made us happy.
You taught us the world was a much bigger place.
You... our tiny little person, you did all of this.

The first year was full of milestones, sleepless nights, laughter, tears, joy and sorrow..
To see you grow so fast was not something we expected .... I knew once you turned 1 it would all be so fast.

don't worry that was not inside of a car.. chest clip at chest level bar down

AGE 1 You have always been so loved..

A Card from your grandpa
mmm cake!
My friends were your friends when you were too little to have your own :D
Your Second Cousins
Your first Pinata

All the presents you got!

When you learned How to walk.. 14 months.. you decided one day you would just get up and walk


AGe 4
SORRY! WE had no camera this year! but I promise you had a lovely birthday Tinker bell themed! and the rain stopped enough for you to have fun with your friends!

AGE 5. today....

5 years! I am blessed and honored to be your mom.. Today is bittersweet..
You are on your way to being a big kid!
You have your own likes and dislikes,
Your opinions
Your views of the world (as many as a 5 yr old's innocent mind has)

And I am happy in some way I shaped them, In some way I have preserved your innocence and your sense of sympathy towards others.

I am holding on to this day because I know and I hope many more will come.. but just like your other birthdays, none as special as this.. Every year of your life I am grateful, and every year of your life is a gift.

I am happy you chose me! you always make it a point to remind me that just as I wouldn't want any other you... you wouldn't want any other me.

I hope you had and will continue to have a super special day.. and the bst is yet to come my sweet child...

Thank you for teaching me how to be a mom, and I pray one day you'll teach me how to be a grandma.

Your Rockin' Momma!


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