Monday, March 7, 2011

It's all fine and dandy until....



Here's the thing... I'm very middle of the road and I am a sympathetic person, I do put myself in other people's shoes and I do respect the fact that people have feelings.  However I am passionate about certain subjects,  If you glimpse through this blog you'll find that I am pretty mellow and I am not pro black nor pro white.. I am a make your own choices and be happy with them advocate.

Until I talked about circumcision...  and the statement that got deconstructed, misquoted and selectively read by certain people. In "I'm going to give my newborn a tattoo" I wrote:

"I Do not judge parents who have circumcised their children... I DO judge those who then refuse to read the information that they didn't read before and admit their mistake. Because I doubt anyone who reads all the evidence would still do this to their child. Especially after watching the videos of circumcisions being performed. I could have posted those here but I didn't want to go there."

let me clarify this...

I Do not judge parents who have circumcised their children
it is not my right to judge, I do not know your circumstances..

You could have done it not thinking you had a choice  "A Mother's guilt" by Adventures in Mommyhood
They could have done it without your consent "No Longer Intact: My son's story" by Barbara Smalley
It could be really important to your religion so much so you felt like God would not forgive you. "Circumcision: a Source of Jewish Pain"  "A letter from a father to a son"
You could have been pressured "Circumcision: What the didn't tell me" by Honestly yours, Me.
You could've really just had the best intentions at the time for your child.  "a Letter to my son" by Lauren Stone
You could also be very pro male circumcision and have researched and found that it was the way to go for you. "Proud Moms of circumcised boys" on cafemom group.

I do not know.. and it is none of my business! What you did already if it was your flat out choice is yours to deal with if you are ok with that, no need to explain, defend, or try to validate. And there is no need for anyone to attack you. 


I DO judge those who then refuse to read the information that they didn't read before and admit their mistake. Because I doubt anyone who reads all the evidence would still do this to their child. Especially after watching the videos of circumcisions being performed. I could have posted those here but I didn't want to go there.

This is where I royally fucked up.. (pardon my french)
I gave you the opportunity to read this first...
I DO judge those who then refuse to read the information that they didn't read before and admit their mistake.

And immediately go red in the eyes, then blinded by the outrage of my arrogant cuntness as someone called me,  over me calling what you did a mistake..  you missed the rest..

Because I doubt anyone who reads all the evidence would still do this to their child. Especially after watching the videos of circumcisions being performed. I could have posted those here but I didn't want to go there.


I should've softened the blow beforehand not punched you then helped you back up.

I guess more people would've read the whole paragraph in its entirety if it would've said:

I Do not judge parents who have circumcised their children , however if after being presented with evidence, and watching videos or circumcisions being performed, you still would do this or not admit that perhaps what was done to your child was a mistake then I judge. And I would have gone there with the videos...

It is because I put myself in other people's shoes that I cannot be middle of the road about circumcision, I put myself in that baby's shoes, how can you watch this and not feel anguish for them, which is why most parents are "spared" from being present during the procedure.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAGNnqyNidY





It's all fine and dandy until you question your decisions as a parent or feel that others are questioning you. I have been there, I have felt attacked because I was uncomfortable with my choices.. However I don't expect you to change your mind.. and you shouldn't expect me to validate your choice to circumcise.. at least maybe if you can at least sit down and watch all the videos I just posted and tell me with your heart that you would do it again if time could be turned back. Then I would sit down open my heart and listen to your reasons why you would.

The links I posted up there, with the exception of the cafemom one, and the Jewish father who did not circumcise, are all moms who circumcised for different reasons I invite you to read their stories.

3 comments:

  1. I tried to watch the video and I got a 30 seconds into his pain uncontrollable cry when they were forceably retracting and had to stop. I have a girl but I knew any son of mine would NOT be circ'ed. I wanted to be totally informed and watch the video but I get the jist. Horrifying and if I have another baby any future son of my will be intact no questions asked and I will send that video to anyone who may question me.
    I need to calm down that hurt my heart.
    Katie

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can't believe someone called you a 'cunt'! :(
    Much love. <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. My husband watched our son get circ'd he slept through the whole thing, only flinched when they gave him a shot of anesthesia

    ReplyDelete

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