Monday, February 28, 2011

Water Water everywhere...

I recently watched this interesting documentary called Tapped.

They discussed how the country's water supply is being used by big corporations like DUN DUN DUN Nestle <---- surprised? I'm not.  To make HUGE profit.  They do not pay for this water, and they turn around, bottle them in chemically ridden containers, and selling it to us.

Deer Park
Ice Mountain
Poland Spring
Zephyr Hills
Acqua Panna

All Nestle Water.. Of course there is store brands, generic, and not to mention Coca Cola and Pepsi water.
The Documentary went on to discuss the way the tap water is tested,  the chemicals found in the bottles, How Municipal tap water is safer, however..

I still distrust tap water!  Why? For one When I gave birth to my first daughter this little thing called nursery water intrigued me.. it seemed like another product making big bucks out of  unsuspecting parents thinking they were doing "the right thing" Gallon has a baby in the picture.. it's called nursery water.. that must mean I need it and it would be irresponsible if I didn't get it. WRONG! I looked it up and found lots of nice little articles about fluoride.. which is of course  the government shoves down our mouths in the form of tap water whether we like it or not.   Look at them backing out now! 

I am also known to be distrusting of federal agencies and why shouldn't I?  Trust is earned and not given.. the government has done nothing to gain my trust in the 30 yrs I have been here. Does not mean I am unpatriotic I love this country I just would love to see the right people running and CARING for it. Not just exploiting and using its resources and people but that's another blog.   How would we stop them int he future from adding things to our water like vaccines or the next "public health must have" Oh wait they are already looking into the food for that.. Swine flu vaccine in your corn anyone?  I am no guinea pig!  What we put in our bodies should be our choice!

With that said.. I am confused! What choices do I really have?  My current method of water is a 5 gallon jug filled at the machine outside the grocery store for 25 cents a gallon. But Even so they talked about the BPA from the plastic jugs.. ok well there's glass I suppose.. and when I go out on the street, should I protect my daughter from wanting a plastic water bottle?

I tried searching to see what the safest method of water is and both sides have strong arguments against each other and I am just confused!

The documentary is great but it left me perplexed Just watch the trailer and you will get a gist of it.

what is your method of drinking water?

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Mother of a sale giveaway!

Mother Of A Sale  WIN a $250 Cloth Diaper Start Up Set!!!!

If you have not heard about Mother of a sale.. then you've been missing out!  They constantly post the hottest deals, dicounts and coupons online! 

And right now..
MOAS is giving away 3 new lines of cloth diapers to one lucky MOAS fan worth $250.00 way’s you can win:

*Share their  Facebook event on your wall to all your friends

*Blog about Mother Of A Diaper Sales event

*Post on our FB page “MOAS I want to win the $250 cloth diaper... set”

Monday, February 21, 2011

Dedicated to the working dad.

I want to make a point that I made to my husband a while back, it made all the difference in our relationship. It brought peace to our household, it even made for guilt free relaxing time for him and I.

You see we stay at home, work at home and  part time working moms know how hard you work all day, how all you want is to put a roof over our heads and bring home the bacon. We understand that when you get home from a pain in the ass day at work you don't want to hear any bitching, you don't want to hear complaining, you want us to be happy to see you, and you want to relax, after all you only get 4-5 hours before you have to go to bed and do it all over again the next day.

The thing is ..we want that too! We want you to have that and we want that for ourselves!...  Imagine this..scenario.

You come home at 5:00pm, you have a lovely dinner with your wife and children..right after you are done eating without even clearing the table your wife goes.. alrighty dear...It's time for me to clock out! My job's done here for the day, gonna go relax now before getting back to the grind tomorrow. And she checked her time card, left the house and didn't come back til 8:00am the next morning. That would suck wouldn't it?  After a long day of work you'd be stuck clearing the table, washing the dishes, cleaning the kitchen for the 4th time in the day, then giving the kids a bath, getting their pajamas on, playing with them, then settling them down for story time and putting them to sleep. Add an infant to the mix and you'd have to pause in between to feed them hold them and rock them not to mention change diapers. Forget abut going to bed as sometimes the kiddos do not want to sleep at all. Oh Man you're going to be too exhausted to go to work the next day huh.. but you have to!.

See you get to check out from your job at 5 or whatever time it is you check out.. we don't!  You get to go to sleep at a prompt time to have energy for the next day, we don't. You get a lunch and breaks, and unless there is a nap time for the kids. we don't.  You get to sleep in if you are sick.. we don't.  Our job really is 24/7  Now don't get us wrong.. we're not trying to attack you. All we ask is for a break, for some help!
for some consideration! If you entertain the kids, give them baths, read them stories while I wash dishes and clean the kitchen it cuts my workload in half!  We'll both be doing the same amount of work, after our workday... If you give me 30 minutes to take a bath or a shower I assure you, you wont regret it. We might even have time for ourselves!

You need to start seeing me as a team mate after all you put the roof and bring the bacon but we maintain that roof and we cook that bacon for you.  Without one there cannot be the other.

After this, my husband decided to help me when he came home from work, he takes care of the girls, I take care of dinner and clean, Or sometimes we even swap that.. I then give him a break and he gets to unwind with video games or TV, when the girls go to bed sometimes we even have energy to stay up a bit longer to hang out with each other and remember what we liked so much about us.

Parenting doesn't have to be difficult..especially if there is two of you!

Here's an insightful blog by a dad read the replies some are ridiculous but some make a good point,.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Are Crunchy Latinas really that rare?

You know it never really dawned on me... I was looking at the blacktating blog and then I realized.. I wonder if there's a chichi blog... (Latino slang for breasts) like an equivalent of a blacktating blog for Latinas.

Though I was born here, I grew up in Mexico.. Tijuana to be exact.. My mom worked at a local IMSS clinic, sometimes I would get to spend the day there if I had no school, I would hang out with the "parteras rurales" rural midwives.. they were paid by IMSS to help deliver babies in rural areas of Tijuana, we even had an emergency birth at the clinic once too!  The clinic was not equipped for a birth but the nearest IMSS hospital in those days was 30 minutes away but realistically with the traffic.. 45 minutes to an hour.. I will never forget that day.. it was a February 2nd, They appropriately named that baby Candelaria.

I used to sit with them while they showed expectant moms this new high tech video for its time where you could make choices, kind of like those books where you go to a certain page if you make a certain choice and the outcome of the story was different each time. You would push a button for the character in a novela to start breastfeeding and push another button to have her switch to formula or to keep breastfeeding.. I saw all variations of this novela. The breastfed family was well rested , happy and healthier while the formula fed baby was cranky and the mom was sleep deprived from washing bottles int he middle of the night and mixing and heating formula until it reached the right temperature.

I guess the exposure to birth and breastfeeding got engraved in me.. I often wonder what the would think of me if they knew I am a breastfeeding, baby wearing in my rebozo, home birthing mother. They'd probably say I'm a dying breed.

C-section rates are up 50% in Mexico,  1 in 2 babies are born via c-section and I was informed the rate is higher for private practices.

I do not know what the percentages of breastfeeding are in Mexico all I can say is aside from the videos I didn't know much about breastfeeding, my mom formula fed us and the only time I saw a woman breastfeed was my mom's friend who had a salon.. she once whipped her boob out in broad daylight and fed her toddler.. I remember I found it shocking and I hid behind my mother but when I saw that this lady kept going with her conversation as if nothing was happening I found a sense of normalcy in the situation.

The Only baby wearing I came in contact with growing up in Tijuana was this...

And gentle parenting... no my friends... (you can read that in a cheesy Hispanic accent)

I grew with la chancla! and with el cinto!

I am not the only person that chose to parent this way because I wanted to do the opposite of the way I was brought up, I had my share of experiences of things that weren't right while growing up but it's not something this post is about..  but it did have an influence I have to admit.

As I sit here typing this I can tell you the only people in my life that do things similar to me are all online. I have looked up meetings, groups, etc and they all are in the North county of San Diego, where the population is predominantly white.  Down here in the south bay, you don't really see much of that, people don't even know we have a birthing center in the area  "birth roots" Everyone assumes the only birthing center is in Hillcrest, more up north.

A Home birth for a Latina most likely was an unplanned, "In 2006, non-Hispanic white women were three to four times more likely to have a home birth than women of other race and ethnic groups. Home births were more likely than hospital births to occur to older, married women with singleton pregnancies and several previous children" 1

A big thing about this is the culture has evolved!  In the Hispanic culture it is so normal to ask "parto natural o cesarea?"  (natural or c-section) because it could go 50/50  and cesareans are looked as normal.  You ask "Pecho o teta?" (breast or bottle) and most likely you will hear "las dos" Latinas initiate breastfeeding in higher numbers than the U.S. average (80% compared to about 75%). But Latinas also supplement more than the average (at two days, 33% compared to 25%). Which prompted a campaign in Connecticut called Las dos.* 2

You hear things like "lo vas a embrazilar"  meaning if you hold your baby too much he'll get used to your arms. You hear instances of putting honey (a big NO-NO before the age1)  in baby's pacifier so they can take it. The grandmas all have an opinion on when you should start feeding your baby solids.. in my paternal family it wasn't unheard of for a 3 month old to be eating bread soaked in bean broth. Family can a lot of times be counteractive to any efforts made to breastfeed or parent gently.

A big part of our history is that the first generations of immigrants that started coming to this country were loosing their customs and culture to assimilate to the western culture. It still goes on today, a lot of Mexican American youth do not know where they come from or even know spanish.. My family is guilty of that, My husband is half mexican american, half caucasian. I am mexican american, my husband does not know Spanish as his mother doesn't either (his grandparents did not teach Spanish to their children in fear they would develop and accent) I read, write and speak spanish because I was raised in Mexico but sadly.. I have not been passing this on to my daughters, it is much easier to speak English in my household :(

With that said.. we are loosing things that would come naturally to our culture such as babywearing, breastfeeding, homebirthing, attachment parenting to "modern living"

I looked online for resources on latinas and breastfeeding, babywearing, homebirthing and there wasn't much to read.

I googled "attachment parenting latina" and did stumble on this blog called "culture mami"
I felt like I found a needle in a haystack! though rather easily  thanks google..

I also was very excited a bit ago to learn of Dulce de Leche another Crunchy mami  out there in the online world..

I am glad other latinas are out there speaking their minds on the parenting front.. We don't have to assimilate to mainstream, when abuletita tells you, you're hugging your bebe too much mija.. You don't have to put him down you can tell her you want to do things like her grandparents did.

I hope if anything somehow Other Latinas get inspired and come forth with their crunchiness and inner Indigena.

If want to keep a list of fellow gentle latina parents, if you know of any blogs, stories, articles, shoot them my way and post them on my facebook wall

Lets not be so rare!


Saturday, February 19, 2011

Are you trying to "one up" me?

I will take the Urban dictionary definition of the "one upper"

1. one upper
An annoying person who responds to hearing someone else’s experience or problem by immediately telling a similar story about themselves with a much more fantastic (or terrible) outcome.

Person: I got to meet James Hetfield before the concert and I got his autograph.

One Upper: Yeah, well my cousin knows the head of security for Metallica, and he got us front row tickets to the show and then we went backstage and met the whole group. Then they invited us back to their hotel room and we partied with them all night.

Person: I have a a dislocated knee.

One Upper: Yeah, well last summer I broke my leg in four places and had to have a steel pin inserted. I also had to have surgery done on my knee to repair the torn ligaments. I was on crutches for almost two months.

You've probably met the mommy versions of the "one upper"... Especially online!

You know.

Hi, I'm Jane I  breastfed  Johnny Jr for a year and he just weaned.  I never knew I would even go that long but I am glad I did!  Breastfeeding rocks!

Hi I'm Joanie.. I am a baby lead weaning advocate and  I am tandem nursing my  2 yr old and my newborn, and yes breastfeeding rocks!  @Jane why didn't you breastfeed longer?

Fancy Nancy:  Hey folks I have a biter, how could I stop my baby from biting me it hurts so much (I saw this scenario once)

Jane Doe: Why don't you try to pull her in towards you so she can break the latch? you could hurt your nipple if you pull away.

Mary Contrary: @Jane are you kidding me? That is abuse! you are suffocating the child!  Sorry Fancy but I sucked it up with all my nurslings.. it's just something that comes with the territory.

HI, I'm Debbie, I have 2 children a boy and a girl, I had them both naturally at the hospital it was the greatest experience ever.

Hi I'm Mona, I have 3 kids all of them unassisted home births.. it was the greatest, I was flipping pancakes the next morning with all of them (<--- I stole that from Gisele's claims that she was making pancakes the morning after her birth)

Hi.. I am Tina.. What did you ladies do to loose the baby weight it's been 6 months and I can't seem to do it,

Hi Tina, are you breastfeeding? I lost all my baby weight in 3 weeks just by breastfeeding I'm actually skinnier than I was before I was pre pregnancy!

I could go on.. and on.....

but I think you get the point.

I admit I roll my eyes when I encounter them, and sometimes I feel inadequate as a mother because of them.. then I though about it..have I ever made someone feel this way.. chances are I probably have not that I can remember as it is never been on purpose and chances are you have too...

I think it is good to take it all in stride,'s the Internet after all ..

Let me put it out there! I have many many many flaws! I sometimes do raise my voice at my kids and sometimes they eat pb&J for dinner... well SHE lol I only have one old enough to eat pb&J, if only I could boobie feed her for dinner.....

I realize I do not want to be the one upper ever! so I will make it a point to me more sympathetic  and to praise those who need praise...

as for the times I feel someone is one upping me? I will picture them as the polar opposites of what they claim to be to make me feel better!

Petty yes!  but  darn it! they're asking for it! haha <----I am just joking so calm down! lol... people's accomplishments are awesome no matter what!  However..

Motherhood, it's a Journey not a competition!

Have you ever felt one upped? or encountered a one upper? Tell me about it!!!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I am Peggy Bundy... well sort of..

This is not a confession.. it's not something I hide... I claim to be the damn best parent I personally can be and darn it I am.. I work hard at it.. but.. when it comes to being a home maker? a June Cleaver? ha! I am not.. and I will never claim to be.

I am  Peggy Bundy.

I Hate Cleaning and I hate cooking!  I so so so sooo wish I honestly do, that I had the curiosity to try new recipes, the energy to scrub toilets and bath tubs, to put socks into pairs, to fight stains like a pro, to clean grout, to dust daily.. (heck even weekly), to keep up with laundry, to greet my husband at the door with a hot meal and a clean house and looking great.   But.. I don't, I could try.. but I choose not to...

I cut corners.. my living room, playroom, kitchen and bathroom look presentable.. if you look closely you'd find the carpet needs steaming,  nothing has been dusted, I don't move the couches to vacuum.. I do only surface cleaning.. unless it's a weekend.. then I don't bother.. Why? it'll just be dirty 15 minutes later.

My kitchen is clean but if you dig, you'd notice my cutlery is not in order, I just dump them in a drawer, my refrigerator is busting at the seams with expired yogurt, containers with old leftovers and mystery balls of foil.
My baking soda has not been changed since 2008 (when we moved here) My oven sometimes guards dirty pans that I don't want to bother with immediately.

My bathroom is clean ..cleaner than a public one at least.. but my bathtub sometimes looks like mouldy cheese.

Gross I know..

I mean, things get done, certain things have a priority, clean dishes, clean clothes, the refrigerator except for the baking soda does get cleaned every time I have to go grocery shopping otherwise nothing would fit.  a Clean area to cook, a clean toilet, a relatively clutter free living room...

Just don't ask about my bedroom. I call that my hamper.

I also cook.. but I have a handful of easy dishes I rotate.. and Fridays are Pizza night and weekends we dine at my mother in law's  oh! and once a week my husband likes to grill, that is how I get away with having food on the table without much effort.

I also noticed though when it comes to deep cleaning...
Don't get me wrong I have an anal side as well.. there are times when the dust bunnies and the grime keep taunting me.. they keep calling my name.. they go "lazy! You can't get rid of us! you love us! We are here forever" and I get angry at myself and I go into a rampage.. then I become someone along the lines of
Mommy dearest..

                                                   NO MOULDY BATHTUBS!!!!!!!! 
But it doesn't happen often! or I'd scare my poor kids lol...

You see.. I have a million excuses to be this way

I have a nursling who every time I get the energy to get things done she wants me to sit down so she can nap and nurse.
I have a 5 yr old that wants a constant playmate
I'd rather play with her than scrub toilets *shrugs
I'd rather have a tickle fight than mop the floor
I'd rather watch a movie while I blog like I am right now than pick up the mess of toys she has left...

I'd rather go snuggle with my baby than load the dishwasher with the dishes from dinner
I'd rather  be happy than miserable...

I know things need to get done but sometimes messes remind me of that torture..where they would make a prisoner pick up rocks and put them on one end of the building and once done.. they would have to pick them up only to take them back to the other side and it was that same cycle forever..

When you wash dishes.. they're going to get dirty.. when you pick up the living room it's only going to get messy again..
I am not saying we mustn't be clean and strive for neatness... but I think taking a day off.. or  realizing the house is never going to be fully clean with a house full of children.. can be liberating.

If anyone can manage to have a spotless house.. without sacrificing some of their sanity and playtime with the kids.. and fun with the hubby ...please tell me your secret!

Peggy Dearest.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

We are not you...

I'm  in need of venting...
Yesterday we found out we were pregnant with our 3rd baby, we are ecstatic.  Lots of people have more than two children right? some even 4  or 5 or more!  Why is our 3rd baby a problem to some?

I was more excited to share with my online friends as my "friends" who hardly visit, who have a life of their own, who the only way I would see would be to be in their same party scene as they are childless or have grown children seem to see it as such a shock. (Not all of them, some were happy for us) I also blocked my post from certain people seeing it and somehow it didn't work!

what is the problem is it that I have an  11 month old? DO I need to wait a "acceptable" period between children?  How did I go from yaay for your second baby to comments such as.

"are you kidding me?"
"are you serious?"
"You're a baby machine"
"You're going to have your hands full"
"You don't know what you're getting yourself into/"
"Ugh I hate babies"
"aren't you tired of being pregnant?"
"Please tell me this is your last one"
"Are you guys getting a vasectomy or tubes tied after?"
"Poor DD#2 she wont enjoy being a baby"
"you're gonna need more money!"

First of all some of my family was not happy... why? Because you were only patient enough to have 2 kids... and even then you didn't really enjoy them?  Why because you had 2 kids it means I have to have 2 as well to fit your standards? Why, because I didn't wait another 4 yrs like I did from 1st to 2nd? News flash I'm 31! I want more and my time is running out.

Why do I want more? I don't need to explain this to ANYONE.. you can think what you like but let me just say something.

I have never asked for help with my kiddos, I have never asked anyone else to watch them but grandma and that is because she offers!! If she doesn't offer I don't ask.. they are mine and my husband's responsibility and ours alone!   I have not asked for money, We are doing alright.. I'd understand asking those questions to someone who is not responsible or on their feet.. but even so unless those questions come with some help, then it is none of your business.

We love our children, it was both of our idea.. we are gentle, kind, loving, and we felt we were missing just one more in our little clan to feel complete. And we could not be any happier.

Our children are our life right now.. there will be time for other things.. but as for now.. we love being mom and dad.. sure they drive us crazy at times which kiddo doesn't but we wouldn't have it any other way..

I just wish people would just keep comments such as these to themselves.. a simple congrats will do.

My loves!

We are not you.... We don't have to go by your standards.....  and most important..We're not hurting anyone with Our choice.

A very Happy family <3

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Problem with Immigration.

I know this is not mommy related but I often find new friends online who really have no clue when it comes to immigration, yet they have an opinion. Not to say their opinion isn't valid I mean maybe their source of news is Fox, or their husband's can't get a job because Pablo over there is cheaper.

Let me explain Immigration you as simply as I can.

by the way I saw this really cute baby clothes at walmart they were like a dollar a piece, who doesn't like a good bargain right?  Everyone likes convenient and cheap.. no one is exempt from that.

Now back on topic..
Lets say Pablo here lives in Mexico, where thanks to the U.S trade, a.k.a NAFTA  has nothing but factory jobs that pay pennies, that is not regulated by the same employee rights as they do here, who by the way if it's not China  it probably comes from there.. That sir is where the jobs went.. they were outsourced!.. but that is another post.  Now the things is, you'd think the standards of living there are low enough that getting paid 100 dollars a week (that's good pay) is enough.. WRONG! the thing that people don't know is that  Mexico being a capitalist country and being the U.S little annoying sister who keeps copying, makes prices for certain goods that we take for granted  just as much if not more than what you would pay for here.. the walmart there? not a bargain store to them as it is here.. The only quality of life you could get there for 100 dollars a week is equivalent to you living in a one bedroom house.. and no not a one bedroom house.. I mean the whole bedroom is a house... 4 walls, no floor. SHIT! If you're gonna be doing factory work here maybe you can go to the U.S and make more money so at least your kids can afford a floor, not a roof.. a floor!

Anyway enough with the pity party..
So If Pablo wanted to do this the right way, he'd need money for a lawyer.. LOTS of it.. and most likely he'd get swindled because according to the USCIS unless you have family members to sponsor you, or an employer which in order to not loose jobs to immigrants you would have to be indispensable, then you go on the back of a VERY VERY VERY VERY long line.. behind, refugees, religious folk, abuse victims, disaster victims, pretty much not something that will happen in his lifetime. So of  he goes to do it the wrong way.. (not saying he's right but I will come back to this)

Lets say you are lucky enough to have a family member to sponsor you for a green card (which is the first step towards citizenship) According to the USCIS site:

If Your Family Member is a U.S. Citizen

You may be able to get a green card as an immediate relative or as a family member in a preference category if your U.S. citizen relative files a Form I-130, Petition for Alien Relative, for you. For more information on immigrant petitions, see the “Family” link to the right.

Immediate Relative of a U.S. Citizen
You are an immediate relative of a U.S. citizen if you are:
The child (unmarried and under 21 years old) of a U.S. citizen
The spouse (husband or wife) of a U.S. citizen
The parent of a U.S. citizen (if the U.S. citizen is 21 years or older)
Family Member of a U.S. Citizen in a Preference Category

You are a family member of a U.S. citizen in a preference category if you are:
An unmarried son or daughter (21 years or older) of a U.S. citizen
A married son or daughter (any age) of a U.S. citizen
A sibling (brother or sister) of a U.S. citizen
If Your Family Member is a Permanent Resident

You may be able to get a green card as a family member in a preference category if your family member filed a Form I-130 on your behalf. For more information on immigrant petitions, see the “Family” link to the right.

Family member of a permanent resident in a preference category
You are a family member of a permanent resident in a preference category if you are:
The spouse of a permanent resident
The child (unmarried and under 21 years old) of permanent resident
The unmarried son or daughter (21 years or older) of a permanent resident

Green Card Through Special Categories of Family
You may also be eligible to get a green card if you:
Are a battered child or spouse of a U.S. citizen
Entered the United States with a K visa as the fiancé(e) or spouse of a U.S. citizen or an accompanying child
Obtained V nonimmigrant status
Are a widow(er) of a U.S. citizen
Are born to a foreign diplomat in the United States

For more information on “Adjustment of Status” and “Consular Processing” see links to left under “Green Card Processes & Procedures.”

The thing is, the further down that you go the longer you wait sometimes more than 10 years..  and the further down the list of reasons for eligibility the longer... by the way cases from the Philippines go before those of the U.S *shrugs..

The thing is , is that it is nearly impossible, and well see I have this theory.. that the U.S probably secretly loves the immigration problem Because those middle class  people sure love their cheap contractors, and businesses love having that edge for being cheaper than the poor contractor who does things right.

The U.S loves to use the immigration as a platform for gaining constituents.. right or left.. always promising to fix it yet never doing so.. no wonder we get people like minute men! The government isn't doing shit why not us.. I understand them it is out of frustration but it is also out of ignorance.

The problem doesn't rely on Pablo.. the problem is the Contractors, companies, businesses that hire illegal aliens to save money on labor and insurance. No jobs? no reason to be here.

I agree with stronger borders but I also agree with making the steps to coming here legally more REALISTIC! but for that we need to think of ourselves first.. we need JOBS, when you go buy that made in china,Mexico,Guatemala item..  think about how that's where the jobs went.. but of course it wouldn't be as cheap. BUT if we had more jobs things we could afford them even with the price hike!

We want things to change yet we complain and just sit there.. and blame it on the next guy...

Another thing that bothers me.. They should put pressure on Resident Aliens to become citizens.. after a while if you are not a citizen then things like medicare/WIC/EBT etc.. need to be taken away... (YES THEY GET EVERYTHING! but the right to vote.) AND you know why that will never happen and you know why they will keep making it easy to take easy street? because I think the U.S is comfy with the idea of them being modern day "citizens" without the right to VOTE! and I think they like the idea of modern day "Slaves" that work for pennies on the dollar and really have no freedom.

Now you tell me.. are you going to start buying American?  Or is it more comfortable  to blame Pablo.

Friday, February 4, 2011

The Hot Blonde in the room..

I bet a lot of you know the feeling, I know I do...

You're going to a party, you change your outfit a bunch of times only to end up with your first choice, you accessorize, do your hair and make up and you still feel kinda cruddy.. but you go to the party.. after a drink or 2 or maybe after just hanging out more you feel more at ease.. you compare yourself to others and you say this isn't so bad, I'm glad I came.. I'm actually one of the better looking ones.

And the she walks in.... She walks in so confident, just a little black dress nothing overdone, it looks like she only took 10 minutes to get ready...  the people that know her flock to her because she's a cool chick to hang out with, she's very outgoing, heck even some of your friends abandon you to go chat with her.. and you're left thinking..  BITCH!

See she didn't really do anything to you, she just showed up and your own insecurities make you think she is hogging all the attention, you start fantasizing that she is such an arrogant bitch, that people are just being nice to her because she is pretty.. you start fantasizing that she must be dumb, that her boobs are fake, and wouldn't mind hearing some nasty gossip about her.. some of your friends feel the same way so you start flocking her dirty looks and your night is ruined.

This is how I think one must feel when you get that "I gave birth at home" or "I had an unmedicated birth" lady be it in a conversation, in a forum, running into her blog.. etc.

One tries to validate themselves by creating passive aggressive articles like I had an epidural. And I liked it it's like talking smack about the blonde yet saying you are happy with yourself. If you are happy why do you have to constantly be looking at the blonde or thinking she even knows you exist..
Or completely misinformed ones like Another reason to get an epidural in that one the author clearly is misinformed and obviously only did selective research (btw maybe the epidural  prevents future incontincence but that catheter certainly defeats that purpose) People who are blinded by being so set with their choice tend to read only what stands out to them and completely misquote or worse not quote at all!  making gullible readers think she is saying the truth.. in this case it's like spreading gossip about the blonde in hopes that you will feel better and everyone will agree with you.

The reply from the "hot blonde" (and remember to take the comparison with a grain of salt.. If you are thinking I am saying natural birth is better than yours... you might want to read from the beginning again as you are missing the point)  Would be this  Natural Birth isn't about getting a gold star, She is right.. someones choices have nothing to do with you!

Someones response there included this
"In my personal experiences and observations I have noticed that mothers who have chosen the med free option think they are better. It's seems kind of like "I would never think of putting anything other than name brand clothing on my kids. And anyone who does is not worthy of being a parent". And yes, i'm aware clothing and medical decisions are not the same. "

Ok.. her point.. I will roll with it but it just proves the blonde theory..

I DO have friends that put nothing on their children except for Gymboree or whatever they feel it the best for their child  and while it did bug me in the beginning, once I figured out that I kinda liked my circo brand from target I let it slide.. Oh I know! Gymboree is super cool! I can't afford it myself but if you can treat them to that then  why not!

I gave birth with an epidural, and at home.. I liked the home one better, I just did! I used to be jealous of the women who could do it and wished I could and I did.. and now that I know what it feels like I can honestly say it was worth it for me! ..

In that same quote she talked about "the club" of course that natural birthers would find some sort of sisterhood  in sharing similar experiences.. think of sorority sisters,  war veterans,  first ladies,  teachers, mountain climbers, marathon runners.. all people who share an experience that the average person does not..
it doesn't mean you can't attain it yourself... if you chose to.
and if you don't it's ok too!

Go back to the blonde simile. Now think about how much better it would be if you introduced yourself, you learned more about her, maybe you'll find you have other things in common!  Maybe you'll like her!
Maybe you decided you too have been the hot blonde on different occasions..

The point of this is.. like I said again and again.. be secure with your choices! If you like them, don't judge others that did things different, don't feel attack when their stating an opinion or just being themselves..
There's 2 sides to the coin my friends..

I know it's wishful thinking to want peace in the mommy world but rest assured..

We are not all bashing other births when we get into groups.. we don't bash women who get epidurals, we share birth stories and we bash the doctors who don't care about giving a woman the experience she deserves. If you tell us your story we will listen.. we might question the Dr's decisions.. but not yours! After all you went in there wanting to have everything go as smoothly as possible and experience the miracle of birth whether  our outcomes were different.. it doesn't matter.. what matters is that YOU are happy and that Baby is too.

Thursday, February 3, 2011


I can tell already you're going to be something...
I can tell already you're a little traviesa (troublemaker)
I can tell already you are curious about the world...
I can tell already you are hungry for knowledge.. you want to know new foods, new sounds, new sights, new textures..
Today during lunch you surprised me with your ability to open a marker and the curiosity as to what it tasted like... it only took you a minute..
Then I cleaned you up and sat you down to get your change of clothes and you found the smoke detector I had set on the coffee table.. that was my fault lol.. You gave me the "oh oh you caught me" look..

Then When I tried changing you, you were not having it! You wanted to play...

So play we did.. you made me laugh, I made you giggle, we danced we pranced, we even cleaned up a bit...
and now we sleep...well you do.. while I sit here typing this.

My reward from you? You finally decided to stand long enough to capture the moment before sitting back down..

I love you so much I hope you never change.. I hope we laugh, I hope we can play and I hope I always always remember today.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Birth Revisited DD#2 A Healing birth.

After 3 years, DH and I started talking about having another child. Caring for our sweetpea was starting to get easier, if I waited any longer she would have definitely been an only child. The month before my Wedding yes DH and I waited 8 years before getting married, lets say we like to take things slow. My IUD fell off! That month I had terrible cramping and after going to pee one night I felt something and it scared me until I realized it was a tiny little plastic T.  I saw it as a sign, we were not going to use backup, not necessarily "try" but not try to avoid it either.. We got Married in June (ON MY PERIOD! GRR) and conceived June 23rd.. yup! I am weird I know when both of my daughter's were conceived. I found out I was pregnant in July.

I started going to an OB/GYN right away, I wanted to go to the clinic I went to when I was pregnant with DD#1 because the CNM there was so awesome, when I transferred to the birthing center at 20 weeks which is their standard, I was very sad to not get seen by her anymore, I was not able to do so this time as the insurance I have is not taken by them,  I was not sure what my next move would be, I ended up going to one at a local hospital he was a nice man, but at around 20 weeks he started talking about the birth and I said... Oh no I am not giving birth in this hospital at some point I'm transferring to the care of a midwife. He was very supportive.

I was fiddling on the idea of contacting the birthing center as trying to look for a midwife was overwhelming and I was still not sure if I wanted to give birth at home.  I went to their site and looked at the new stuff and there she was!!! Her beautiful motherly smile, her earthy and peaceful look, I read her bio and noticed she was not there full time that she also did home births and I immediately though well.. if she does home births then I'm in! I googled her name and her website came up  The dancing Midwife. I contacted her and was able to reach her immediately! She Vaguely remembered me, we set up an appointment and she remembered! She got to see our first daughter as as a 3 yr old, last time she had seen her she was a newborn.  We were in!

Appointments with her were pleasant, one hour sessions of measuring, listening to the baby and then talking about our hopes, fears past experiences.. she was more than a midwife she was our therapist!  So time went on and March rolled around pretty quickly.. She introduced me to who would be the second midwife N.M  I instantly liked her she had a calm earthy presence like hers.. they would both help me bring this baby gently into the world.

March came pretty fast ..We we at our EDD I think , 17th and then just our luck!  B.R our midwife, had to be hospitalized for her appendix, it had burst and had to be removed and they had to keep her.. I was once wanting this baby out now I wanted her IN!  I was hoping she would be released before I went into labor but our amazing midwife ON her hospital bed, arranged for N.M and another midwife D.B to meet with me and have a plan just in case. Everything had to be done fast as I was "due".

We waited around and I took baths and I would get antsy but I also wanted B.R there...

On March 19th 2010 I got awoken with some cramping, I could not get back to bed as they were bothering me.. I paced around, timed them.. they were not regular.. I tried going back to bed but at 5am they became so uncomfortable that I woke up my husband and told him he needed to keep me company, I was hungry so I ate a pb&J and some soy milk and then at 5:30 I was convinced it was it.. they were constant little waves 5 minutes apart so I called..

by 6am we were at my mother in law's home (we gave birth there as we rent and it meant more to us to have our baby in the family house) She had a huge master bedroom with a big tub and a shower big enough to fit 5 people. by 7am N.M was there.

They had breakfast thanks to my mother in law as I totally did not even think about it.. oOOps they have to eat! lol..  She brewed coffee and then we waited... and waited.... and waited.... They would suggest walking, but I didn't I was tired, At one point I got so annoyed I told them that I felt like they were watching water boil and it was putting me in a horrible mood.. WHY WAS THIS BABY TAKING FOREVER!! So the one that lived closest went home and the other went for a stroll at the beach.  I ate some lunch, and then tried sleeping as I was tired..I would drift off then felt a wave... drift off felt a wave....

at 5pm I called her back and i was like ok I am ready!, by 7pm I wanted in that tub... I HATED the tub, they tried turning the light off to relax me I was like NOOO light I need light!!

I think at around 10 who knows time is the least of your worries then, It started getting very intense.. and then the transition..

It hurt yes.. but to be honest it is not the pain.. it is the fear!  Your adrenaline gets to you and you feel like you can't! and you say it "I can't I can't" then I though what the fuck did I get myself into!! I wonder if I call 911 they can give me something... but then I tough they'd be stupid stupid woman.. trying to give birth at home.. (seriously amongst all my whining I was thinking that)  I bit my partner's arm, I pooped.. pooped a lot! I cursed.. I cried like  a baby.. To be a midwife requires so much patience, A transitioning woman sometimes I imagine could be like taking care of your annoying drunken buddy...
I had not eaten for a while and needed to eat, I refused like a baby, then one of them gave me honey.. a big spoonful of natural honey.. I don't know if it was that but I felt a sudden breeze, it made me Wake up!
I asked for more.. I composed myself and I literally said "ok I am ready to do this, but can I please take a shower I am hot and sweaty " "If I can just get in the shower I can do this"  boy did my body know!

I painfully walked the 30 steps it must have taken me to get in the shower,  The water felt sooo good... It was so relaxing, and I cleaned myself down there and I felt down and I felt her drop! and I felt a bulge..
Then something primal happened, something took over, and I was like I am ready, she's right there I am ready can I have her here! They said sure!  Instantly the rushes took over and I let them take over..  wave after wave urging me to push.. The way I ended up was on all fours  holding on to a little stool, my chest to the floor in sort of a cat like position.. I was facing the midwives away.. So they said get your swim trunks daddy you're gonna have to go in there..  I pushed one DAMN Good push may I say I Screamed and the scream felt like some tiger lady took over  like I was a warrior and that was my war scream.. I for sure thought that got her out but I did not I made her crown and then I thought to myself.. aaahh so this is that damn ring of fire.. meh the water was hitting me nicely there and it was starting to get cold to it felt soo good!  I thought to myself I will be damned if I don't get her out by the second push.. and I let out another scream and I pushed and out she came!

That moment felt so good! It really is like you're trying to poop and then you finally do and you feel relief haha! and then the sweet endorphins kicked in and I couldn't believe it and my husband was crying and we were like we did it!! and then they told him you just delivered your baby!  Nobody delivered our baby and no one saw her coming out, Daddy caught her, daddy helped me, the first arms she was held by were his and then mine..

I then laid down out of the shower and baby started rooting for the breast and she immediately nursed (That chunker) and than in turn, helped me deliver the placenta immediately. So I stayed stationary for a while.

I was moved to the bed, and got 2 stitches and the midwives left and we drifted to sleep  there were more details obviously but I wont bore you with every single detail...

All I know is that it was the best thing I have done on my life.. When I talk about it, it isn't to brag, it isn't to tell you my birth was better if you chose something else.. it is to share how awesome birth can be and how wonderful it can make you feel and how much stronger you come out of it...

We again had problems with nursing but I will explain on a second part..
Discovering my inner crunch...

Oh, by the way miss DD#2 came in at a whopping 9lbs 20z without a hitch! Take that "your baby is too big" bullies! "D


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