Tuesday, February 15, 2011

We are not you...

I'm  in need of venting...
Yesterday we found out we were pregnant with our 3rd baby, we are ecstatic.  Lots of people have more than two children right? some even 4  or 5 or more!  Why is our 3rd baby a problem to some?

I was more excited to share with my online friends as my "friends" who hardly visit, who have a life of their own, who the only way I would see would be to be in their same party scene as they are childless or have grown children seem to see it as such a shock. (Not all of them, some were happy for us) I also blocked my post from certain people seeing it and somehow it didn't work!

what is the problem is it that I have an  11 month old? DO I need to wait a "acceptable" period between children?  How did I go from yaay for your second baby to comments such as.

"are you kidding me?"
"are you serious?"
"You're a baby machine"
"You're going to have your hands full"
"You don't know what you're getting yourself into/"
"Ugh I hate babies"
"aren't you tired of being pregnant?"
"Please tell me this is your last one"
"Are you guys getting a vasectomy or tubes tied after?"
"Poor DD#2 she wont enjoy being a baby"
"you're gonna need more money!"

First of all some of my family was not happy... why? Because you were only patient enough to have 2 kids... and even then you didn't really enjoy them?  Why because you had 2 kids it means I have to have 2 as well to fit your standards? Why, because I didn't wait another 4 yrs like I did from 1st to 2nd? News flash I'm 31! I want more and my time is running out.

Why do I want more? I don't need to explain this to ANYONE.. you can think what you like but let me just say something.

I have never asked for help with my kiddos, I have never asked anyone else to watch them but grandma and that is because she offers!! If she doesn't offer I don't ask.. they are mine and my husband's responsibility and ours alone!   I have not asked for money, We are doing alright.. I'd understand asking those questions to someone who is not responsible or on their feet.. but even so unless those questions come with some help, then it is none of your business.

We love our children, it was both of our idea.. we are gentle, kind, loving, and we felt we were missing just one more in our little clan to feel complete. And we could not be any happier.

Our children are our life right now.. there will be time for other things.. but as for now.. we love being mom and dad.. sure they drive us crazy at times which kiddo doesn't but we wouldn't have it any other way..

I just wish people would just keep comments such as these to themselves.. a simple congrats will do.

My loves!

We are not you.... We don't have to go by your standards.....  and most important..We're not hurting anyone with Our choice.

A very Happy family <3


  1. Congratulations Tanya! That's fantastic news.

    I had similar reactions when I became pregnant with my second baby when my first was only 9 months old (and still get it, whenever I'm out and about). I think I just blocked it out. I had my hands full! ;-)

    I'm so excited for you!!

  2. Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those debbie downers and negative nancies should shut up!

  3. yay! friggin good for you! we just had our 2nd and faced some of those questions, but we are in a different place where we really dont have the money. but god i love these kiddlets. you are a great mom and #3 will be a blessing!

  4. Congrats! Don't let them get you down.
    My sister and I are 17 1/2 months apart, so my mom knows how it is. If you guys are happy, then that's all that matters. :-)

  5. Congrats Tanya!!!!!!

  6. So sorry I am late on this, I read this earlier on my phone but hate commenting from there. I know how you feel, its terrible when people try to bring you down with their own negitivity!
    We got some of those comments with Karma but not as bad because we were adopting her. However, a few months after we got her and we found out we were pregnant with Sariah OH MAN! The things people feel entitled to say just boggle my mind! I had people saying they were going to slip birth control into my drinks!! Someone even forwarded me some satire comedy strip on how to prevent pregnancy for dummies telling me I needed to pay close attention.
    When people demand "you're done now right?" and we say "actually no" they flip out on us. "5 kids, why in the BLEEEEEEP would you want 5 kids". They act like THEY are the ones being "forced" to have 5 kids. Stupidity!
    I wish I could say it gets better but it doesn't I get rude comments Every. Single. Time. I go out in public! :( Its very obvious how close in age the 3 girls are. People often assume I runa day care :(

  7. Heres the thing: You can not please them all!!

    If you have one child you are depriving them from having a sibling and they will be lonely.

    You have two children your depriving the first child from attention.

    Have three children and some one is going to get left out. Surly you will have one opposite gender and then you will HAVE to have a fourth.

    Parenting IS just a debate every thing you do will result in an unwanted opinion. EVERYTHING!Breastfeeding or formula feeding,Cloth diapering or disposable diapering,solids early or solids later,co sleeping or crib sleeping.... the sooner we admit to ourselves that parenting is a debate and you CAN NOT PLEASE THEM ALL the better off we all will be!

  8. @Chrystal, Very much agreed, I can shrug comments like that from online stragers or on the street strangers but coming from friends and family it is hurtful, you would think we were crackheads or something.. We are responsible mature individuals.. but you're right.. I guess family is included in that equation lol.. thanks everyone!

  9. Congrats! You are having a baby, that is a miracle, blessing, great news! The haters just need to keep their mouths shut. They are not growing, delivering, raising the baby so they can butt out!

  10. i think it's awesome! i wish i could handle all the things you do! i sit and wonder sometimes, how does she do it????? i can barely handle one kid and one very small apt! and you blog and make cloth covers and take care of 2 kids and soon 3 and your hubs! i think you are amazing! i wish i could do everything that you do!



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