Yesterday we Ventured to the Library and the playground, something we like to do once in a while.. The image above is the actual playground. The Playground isn't in our city it is on an man made island nearby, In a "wealthy" part of town. All sorts of people go there though.. and I kinda like the playground set up it is much nicer than the ones by our house. I sat down to nurse my 1 yr old while my 5 yr old played with daddy,.
Every time I got to the playground I feel odd though.. I get a million thoughts in my head
Is this my life?
How old am I?
Am I like THAT parent?
Is that lady the mom or the nanny?
OH for pete's sake would it hurt that lady to let her kid get dirty?
I wonder how many of the newborns here are on formula..
I wonder if all these kids are happy beyond the playground..
I wonder if anyone here is AP or somewhat crunchy..
I wonder if they think I'm weird..
I wonder if they'll say something if I start breastfeeding right now..
I wonder why I wonder so much..
Then I start thinking about how much older the Caucasian parents are than us.. they all seem to be in their mid 40's too young to be grandparents (not impossible but I'd imagine not seen as often in the upper class?) And I think about how having children at that age has its advantages financially and patience-wise but on the other hand they all seem to be sitting down watching the kids play or reading a book/on the phone while people like my husband interact..
The Nursling gets done with her business.. I get up and push my daughter in the swing while hubby puts the baby in another swing and I soon forget about the other parents :)
Moral of the story...
In the end.. worrying about what others do or don't do can make you miss out on what is really important, the people close to you, your family. It is when you focus on your family that the weight of the world seems so much more lighter.. I realize then why family is so important and why we were designed to crave family (in one way or another and different manifestations) .. when all gets to be too much.. they are your safe place, somewhere where you always belong and you never feel like a misfit.
exactly!!! I was kind of wondering where you were going to go with the title (because being a "misfit" has been on my mind lately). I think the same way you do while I'm at the park, or any where, really. It's something I've been working on lately... Trying not to worry about anyone else, just my little family.
ReplyDeleteI would love to have some like-minded moms to spend time with but, maybe just because of where I live, that's very hard to find. Even the mom friends I have, I feel like because we do things differently that they are judging me or they even feel judged by me. Anyways, I agree.. my family is what I'm all about and I have to focus on that :)
I'm working on a post on the pros of being a young parent. It's weird that the norm has shifted to more older parents and that older moms and dads are seen as ideal by society. Biologically that isn't true at all, but the prevalence of teen moms shapes people's views I think, as well as the desire to have more money. My own parents had me when my mom was 35 - I had a great childhood but my brother who was born 7 years later got a little screwed I think.
ReplyDeleteLoving your blog - I really like the combo of honest reviews and personal post. It's what I aim for with my blog as well. =)