Yesterday while strolling by the children's section at wal-mart on my way to the fabric section I noticed a tutu set... My 4yr old has been bugging me that she wants to wear a tutu to school, I have made her one but it's too extravagant to wear at school and this one was simple.
I was looking at them when I overheard a little girl with two women say in Spanish "yo quiero uno!" (I want one) To which one of the women replied also in Spanish "ay, pero eso es para una chamaca fea y tu estas bonita" (yeah, but that's for an ugly brat and you're beautiful) the child continued to repeat the same thing and the woman replied the same answer.
I just laughed and had a conversation with my husband about that...
I'm all about telling your children they are beautiful, smart, funny, etc.. but what I find is appalling is to remark that some other child is ugly. It's like telling them you're beautiful and everyone else is ugly.
How are we supposed to make the next generation better that way?
my 4yr old is color,height, shape, ability blind.. she does not know the word fat or disabled nor she distinguishes differences in race, she talks to people with the same respect and looks at them the same. I tell her she is beautiful but that everyone else is beautiful too.
I am not naive and think this will be the case forever... she will eventually know there is a difference and sadly other children whose parents teach them their own prejudiced views will make sure to teach her that.
Ever hear a small child point and laugh at someone overweight or different? I never blame the child I blame the parent who is usually mortified thinking "where does little Billy, get those things?" It's from you! he learned it from you!
My hope is that when she grows up she keeps her compassionate side, I hope she can stand up for people and not be afraid to disagree with her friends, I hope her mind is not a collective one.. I hope she knows aesthetic beauty is in the eye of the beholder but lucky is the person who gets to know a person's true beauty, up close. Therefore to not judge.
I hope more kids grow up that way... I hope more of us make sure of that.