Tuesday, June 28, 2011

A tale of the recurring "3 lines" ..

When I was pregnant with my first I was very excited of course,  If you asked me what I wanted I would have given you the cliche "whatever baby is, as long as it's healthy" answer (I know would change that just plain and simply "a baby" because of course I would not "not want" a baby if he/she wasn't healthy We love our children as they are).

I secretly hoped for a boy though, I was just barely becoming content with people my gender and barely embracing all things "girly". You see I spent most my teens and early 20's in a somewhat gender stereotype limbo. I was too "girly" to be a tomboy and too awkward to pull off being "girly".  My mother embraced the society rule of what a woman of the 80's should be .. heels, make up, dresses, fashion trends, perms, shoulder pads, floppy bow ties.. She never did teach me how to "be a girl" though.  I don't blame her, she didn't grow up with a mother as hers passed away when she was a toddler, whatever she learned she learned from TV, her peers etc.,  and she must have figured I would learn the same way.  Too bad I also grew up with an interesting contrast of an anti-social paranoid father who never wanted us to be sheeple and who threatened to beat me up if I became a whore or  beat me up if I became a lesbian.  I couldn't be girly and I couldn't be a tomboy. I didn't know who I could be if that makes sense..  I couldn't be like my peers so I was a bit confused until I moved away from them.

I was always the girl who had many male friends because I couldn't relate to girls, Back then I blamed it on them being drama now I admit I just felt awkward around them.  So  fast forward to my first child..  I secretly wanted a boy!  I wanted to dress him up in little punk rock clothing, I wanted to roughhouse, I wanted to give him a little Mohawk. I wanted trucks and Dinos and all those stereotypical boy things..  I wanted to teach him to be a good man! week 20th came along and when the sonographer said  See those 3 little lines? "it's a girl" My heart Sunk to dephts unimaginable!  I felt very deep disappointment and sadness, then I felt overjoyed and elated and happy and looking forward to the future all in the time frame of 5 seconds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am sure some of you understand that feeling.

Picture from Second Sono Yeah this time I was happy to hear she was "still a girl" ! :)

My little princess!
I had my second daughter in 2010,  When we got pregnant with her I knew she would be a girl.. I just had that feeling.  The day of the ultrasound came and I was 1% hoping they would say boy and alas.. those 3 lines again..  This time though.. I was not disappointed, I was super excited that my daughter would have a sister, something I didn't have and always wondered what it would be like.  I was excited to use the baby clothes I had saved from my first daughter and I wanted everything pink and girlie!

This time around?
Well  I didn't want to find out the gender, I didn't want to think of the possibility of a 3rd girl.. I didn't want to deal with the insensitive comments .. I already had gotten plenty from announcing that I was pregnant again just 10 months after giving birth to my second.  My husband wanted to find out though and curiosity got the best of me. I swore up and down it was a boy because this pregnancy has been so different from my last two..  I wasn't going to announce the gender because I wanted to avoid stupid comments like "your poor husband" or "wait til they're teenagers"  "better luck next time" etc..  but I think by not announcing it I am making it seem like we are disappointed and we're not.. we're elated to say  the 3 lines came back! It's  a girl!! 

Prior to finding out we started panicking at the possibility of this baby being a boy,  what on earth would we do?  When we go to grocery stores all we see are whiny crying boys! (I am sure there's whiny crying girls too but our biased view only lets us notice the boys hehe)   My oldest daughter didn't want a "little bother" (Thank you Olivia the pig for coining the phrase) so when the 3 lines came up on the screen we all literally clapped and cheered. "A girl! YAAAAAAYYYYYY"

I asked over at the Instinctual mamas page about other families with children of the same gender and your answers were so varied and yet so alike because the children we all have are loved no matter what! So here are my answers to the questions I asked.

Where you disappointed to find out your latest was of the same gender as his/her siblings?
Absolutely not! I was very relieved and excited!

Did you get insensitive comments from family and friends? How did you handle it?
Though I have been avoiding them I have gotten a couple from some.. to which I jokingly reply "Not my fault Hubby doesn't make boy sperm" lol..

Do you feel like you are not done ? If you are ...Do you ever wish you weren't?
No, I am not done I want 1 more though I actually want another girl just so people wont assume I am "trying for a boy"

Do you feel jealousy when someone has a baby the opposite gender?
Sometimes!  I think it's natural.. I sometimes feel like I am inadequate for not being able to get pregnant with a boy then I remember I am not in the middle ages.. I'll leave raising boys to someone else! Plus if it's the last name? My girls can always keep theirs! We live in the 21st century after all!

When did you feel at peace with your family as is? (if you were ever not at peace)
I felt at peace after my second daughter, after finding out just how awesome girls are!

Is the amount of children you have the result of seeking for a specific gender?

What is the most awesome thing about having all boys/girls?
That they are mine!! and best of all.. that when they have babies of their own I wont have to walk on eggshells with a daughter in law.. Well I know not exactly like that but I am sure the children of your daughters are less off limits than the children of your sons <3

What are you most looking forward to?
Seeing them grow into women!, Grandbabies, perhaps attending their births if they want me to.

What do you wish people knew about having all boys/girls.
That you don't have to have "one of each" to enjoy your children, proof of that is people with big families of different genders, and sometimes.. having just a girl and a boy can still be lonely for the kids. I have a brother whom I love dearly but I always wished I had a sister too!

and with that said, I leave you with this...

"You can't always get what you want.... And if you try sometime you find...You get what you need"
Rolling Stones.


  1. Congratulations on your new baby! I 100% agree that you get what you need. I feel like our babies chose us and chose the sex they are.

  2. Love it!! I was so excited to hear you were having another girl. At this point in our lives, 3 girls later, I don't know what I would do with a boy. I know girls, we are good with girls, we can handle girls. LOL A boy would throw a wrench in the system...don't get me wrong, I would love to have a boy...but I am so expecting another girl. And I completely agree...You get what you need!

  3. Somebody has to try to make up for all the girls not being born! The world needs our wonderful strong women raised by mothers and fathers who love them.

  4. I agree, we get what we need in our lives! Congrats on your girl!

  5. Aw..lol..congrtas! :) I love your blog and wanted to stop by to let you know I have nominated it for the sunshine awars :) http://untrainedhairmom.blogspot.com/2011/07/sunshine-award.html

  6. "Prior to finding out we started panicking at the possibility of this baby being a boy, what on earth would we do?"

    After having three boys, when the ultrasound said our fourth was a girl this was my very first thought.

    Congrats! A third little princess.. what a blessing!



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