Friday, April 15, 2011

Credit where credit is due.

I was recently having a conversation with a friend at my house and I was telling her about how having kiddos was like, I mentioned something to the lines of.. "I am the mom that I am thanks to my husband's help"  Funny because I realized that the moment I said it.

If I didn't have my husband's help, If I were a single mom, If I were a military mom, you bet your sweet heiny that things would be different. I could not sit here preaching about being a "gentle parent"  To me it would be impossible..  I have a temper.. I have anger issues.. I get frustrated easily,  Yelling to me is like breathing sometimes.. I don't even think I'm doing it and I am..  Now don't worry I got most of it under control, on most days..  and my daytime kids never really bring this out of me they're perfect angels because I'm not their mom..  Yeah.. kids only seem to mess with their own parental units.

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But there's times when I get so frustrated (mainly with the 5 yr old) and that's when the hubby comes to rescue me.. he takes on the task of entertaining and calming down the bubbly  insatiable one..  She is such a bossy, hyper, demanding, drama queen,  yeah yeah good traits  she's not a bad kid.. but after 12 consecutive hours it can sort of become nails on a chalkboard.  The Urge to scream arises like a scene from the incredible hulk.  I want to yell "shut up" "stop that" "why won't you listen to me!!" "go away!"  I don't...  instead I let a huge *sigh and tell her ok can you wait? Daddy's coming home soon.  And then I consider curling into the fetal position on the bathroom floor and crying.  Ahh Parenting not for the weak! not at all!  If you only have a baby at home.. you think the terrible 2's are something to fear? no.. that's nothing.. I'll take the terrible 2's a million times over the furious five's   at least when they are the "terrible 2's" you know the problem is them not having the ability to communicate effectively.. when they're 5 the problem is they got you all figured out.. they got a mind of their own.. and just like you can't change the mind of other adults sometimes you can't change the mind of a 5 yr old either.. unless there's ice cream involved.. but you can only resort to that during emergencies.

I do sometimes like her feistyness.. if a stranger, family member dared questioned my parenting and called her a brat.. I'd be quick to say my child is witty, strong willed and Lucky to be able to express herself freely  and I'd accompany that with my tongue sticking out at them.    But in reality it's difficult.. but I didn't get into the parenting rollercoaster to have a boring easy ride did I? I didn't know what I was getting myself into but I knew it wasn't going to be easy and I knew I really wanted to do it.. I just happen to scream in horror every once in a while when the rollercoaster looks like it's going to take a turn for impending doom..  then I laugh when I realize I made it.Doesn't mean I want off nor that I'm gonna just close my eyes the rest of the way.


Back to what the point was..  I am grateful that my husband helps.. I think we make a perfect team.. Together we may not make ":super parent" but we help each other up when the other one's down.. We carry each other when we can't walk anymore.  And there's always teaming up against the wretched 5 yr old.. when we both say no all hell breaks loose and well.. at least then we can laugh about it..

But I don't just want to sit here and brag about my awesome life partner ..partner in life...

I want to send a shout out to all single moms, married moms who are like single moms (for one reason or another sometimes it can be work, sometimes it can be just the way things are) Military moms..  Who still manage to be gentle parents..

You all rock my socks.. I don't know how you do it.. I'm a Pansy!  And you deserve acknowledgement for riding this rollercoaster in the front seat with the bollocks that you have!

Much love! <3

A gentle mom with help.


  1. I SO relate to this post! I was a single parent to my son, who I choose to call "challenging" at times:)
    It was HARD! There was alot of yelling. I am now married to a very gentle, patient man. He adopted my son, and we adopted a baby girl together, who is now 8 months old. I have seen first hand how it is both ways. And let me tell you, it is way way way better with 2 parents.
    Thanks for reminding me of how lucky I am!

  2. Great post! I can relate as well. I have similar moments.....
    Thank goodness I have the help of my hubby, friends and family. You know the saying... "it takes a village!"

  3. i am a sort of single mom. my man works on the road in the music industry and we hardly ever see him. he was just gone for 2 1/2 months and is home now for 1 week. even tho he is gone a lot, i feel the same way. he supports me in all my gentle parent ideas and even promotes them to the rappers he works with. life is great (hard but great) when you have a greaat partner!



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