another lame blog about the stupid time's article.. nah!

Had the title been a marathon runner and it said... are you Strong enough?  would it had gotten the same backlash? My husband today made a good point..  "it provocatively calls for are you willing to take on this challenge? "  See not everyone is willing to and some can't run a marathon..  but do we censor  ESPN for it? umm. no!!   I for one love the pic, love the provocative nature of it too!  :P  Mommy guilt is a bitch!

Facebook's slap in the face.

On Saturday evening I was hanging out on facebook when a friend Messaged me about a page she had came across she asked me to flag it and after looking at the page I told her I'd do something even better I'd flag it and get other moms to flag it by posting it on Instinctual Mamas , one of my pages.

I always believed that the only reason pictures on facebook that showed nursing were deleted was that it had to be someone flagging it, so I mention pages of this nature were not flagged down which is why they stood, so I asked the moms following the page Instinctual mamas to flag the page down.

The next morning I woke up to find  this..

Pardon the F bomb blurred in the background but I was annoyed :P

This was my second warning,  My first was a breastfeeding pic that I got removed from a breastfeeding page, which sadly did not care when I let them know that my picture had been removed so I moved on from it..


The thing is.. yes I shared an "obscene" link, don't get me wrong I am not against nudity really those things don't scare me but the hypocrisy drives me nuts! Facebook cries that they want to keep it clean and goes on deleting sprees and had they deleted the page, then it would have been worth me getting canned for the time being if mission had been completed and that was to let them know they were allowing this page to stand.

Here is the page alive and kicking,

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Total-Sexy-Women-18/345344538847268



Not even that! It's grown 200 fans in about 36 hours..

SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT... I SHARE A LINK TO A PAGE FACEBOOK IS HOSTING TO LET OTHERS FLAG IT DOWN, I GET PUNISHED FOR SHARING SUCH PAGE AND THE PAGE STILL STANDS???? HOW DOES THIS MAKE SENSE????

Needless to say I am livid!! And all of you moms who have been bullied by facebook's policies should!! Please continue to flag this page down!!  The hypocrisy is unnerving! I feel like we all should be apologized to or at least they should wake the hell up and delete this page already and many others I am sure exist!

GET IT RIGHT FACEBOOK!!!

Sincerely one pissed off mom!

When Tandem nursing you must roll with the punches..

I've been wanting to write about tandem nursing for a bit,  I've only been doing it for 3 months but ... (seriously? just 3 months?? I thought it was longer!)  anyway..  things have changed so much since I wrote "my Journey to tandem nursing part I"  here I am 10 months later and well things are interesting to say the least..

Let me take you through the rollercoater shall I?

I gave birth October 15th 2011 to a very hairy little one we named Briar Rhys, She was born in the water weighing 8lbs 2 oz!  and though I thought she was weird looking at first (just like I thought of my other 2) She is now a beautiful smiling cooing squishy baby.

As soon as she came out she went straight to the breast! a big part was because my placenta wasn't coming out so good old nipple stimulation was needed so I nursed her and her sister had just woken up, she came and she didn't know what was going on but all she knew was that there was this mousy kid on one of her bahbah's and she at least wanted the other one while she figured it out..

So here I am laying down on a futon in my livingroom (yeah I use it as a couch and it was so handy to park myself there during labor and after)  waiting on the placenta taking it all in and BAM! I got two babies suckling away.. and it was awesome! oh wait! my 22 month old just fell and wants some comfort bahbah.. *sigh...

So anyway where was I? oh yeah it was awesome, it was an accomplishment in itself...  we made it through nursing through the pregnancy, through my milk drying up and now my sweet baby was getting some milkies again!

and then reality set in...  This kid is a boob addict!! She wants it when she wants it and she won't take no for an answer!

This is what happens when I say No! 

She doesn't understand that baby needs her milkies too and to be honest.. I try not to nurse them at the same time!  I know some people can do it but not me, I can handle it for a bit but then my skin starts to crawl at the feeling, especially when their suckling goes at a different rhythm.. it's like the most annoying feeling ever.. and I want to get up and walk away! (Now I understand why my cat would sometimes up and leave dragging her poor kittens still attached to her and spilling them left and right, that cat had enough!)

So for the most part we try to work it out you know "roll with the punches"  If I have a free boob and she wants it she can have it if I'm doing a serious nursing session where I want her sister to empty the boob as much as possible and get all the fatty milk and such we try to distract her if she wants a helping but sometimes it doesn't work so, I suck it up and nurse both for as long as I can mentally stand it. Motherhood being an act of sacrifice and all lol...

But then I see this and my heart melts!

Yes She sometimes reaches out to her and rubs her hand and holds her as if saying "Hi sister! thank you for sharing your milk with me I still need it very much!"  *ok I'm teary eyed now! 

So at night we all go to bed one big happy co-sleeping family Orion (22 month old) will go with her dad on his side and Briar Rhys with me on my side.. I nurse then both sometimes if they aren't asleep yet and we all go to sleep.. and then I wake up to this (I sleep topless by the way) 

I am not trying to rip off "Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures" I swear! it's just that these moments I wish there was a way to take a picture of,  for one  there is usually no one there to see it.. (daddy leaves early for work)  and also  it would involve me showing you  full boob which I am ok with but also a very messy room and hair and just a big hot mess that is I in the mornings before my coffee (yes I drink coffee and nurse *commence the hating)  to my defense I did not become a slave to the bean as "crappy pictures" says until I had 3 kids! haah  but anyway maybe her first crappy pictures post was because there are some things you can't explain other than with a crappy picture..  so anyway..  I wake up to this.. 

I'm laying there with the littlest nursling in the nook of my arm, and I wake up to feel a draft!  No Mr. Banderas it's too early for sexy time.. go away.. oh wait what??  AHH! there is a toddler pulling the blanket away, looking at my bah bah about to latch on!! (seriously her smile in the mornings borderlines on creepy but it's actually cute and endearing)  So in order to get a good extra 15-20 minutes of shut eye I let her.. that and if I don't she'll follow me around the house crying "why?? oh why?? bah bah!!!!" 

So what's the point of this blog? It doesn't have one really.. this isn't to entice you to tandem, nor to steer you away, it's just my experience so far with it.. and just like with anything parenting related we must try our best and roll with it.. we can't control what we can't control, and we shouldn't control what we shouldn't control.. breastfeeding is so organic and  beautiful and an adventure in itself.. take this from an ex-formula user (my poor 6 yr old but she's doing ok)  The sole act of breastfeeding has made me rethink many choices and ways of thinking..  It is a truly unique experience! One that I will forever cherish and remember . What I have noticed from being a former formula user, formula is for one purpose and on purpose alone "eating" sure you can bond other ways and trust me I am not trying to put anyone down, if I read this back in 06 I would have gotten upset but now I know "the secret" while formula is about eating and baby gaining weight. breastfeeding is a relationship... it's a dance!  it's the moment where you reconnect with your child and you are forced to sit down and take it all in... and well this momma is lucky to have 2 to share that with. 

I'm not gonna do human milk a disservice by saying "it isn't for everyone" because it is! but circumstances vary, education varies, situations vary, emotions vary, people are different and while I can understand why some are put off by tandem or by nursing toddlers let me just say this.. 

I will not criticize you if you don't criticize me!  You don't have to understand this dance if you don't want to but don't expect me to understand then your point.. 

This dance is a fun dance... it is rewarding, and annoying and rewarding and annoying.. 

If you are thinking about tandeming and nursing while pregnant reach out to la leche league, Search Kellymom.com, check out the leaky boob! and if your instincts tell you this is what you want, fight for it! you can also email me! ibbabies(at)gmail.com! I'll help with what I can!  

it's not easy it's not glamorous but it is a dance worth dancing. 

And with that said...  I will nurse my babies and hope we go back to a world where nursing multiple babies.. or heck even nursing one baby is not a shocker anymore..

and yes... that's a slayer t-shirt ;) 

Love! this rockin' momma! <3 

Tummy time shmummy time!

I am part of mommy groups for my oldest baby and now my youngest,  we've discussed milestones and of course there is always the comparison some moms tend to do with their babies, being that this is my third, though I do not necessarily consider myself a pro I have been around the block a couple of times to reserve myself from such discussions, I am perfectly comfortable with my baby developing at her natural rate..

A subject that comes up that sort of bothers me is "tummy time" this is why.. 

If you are parenting with instinct.. meaning you pick up your baby when they need you to, you wear them, you co-sleep  and they spend minimal time on their backs YOU DON'T NEED IT! 

Some babies are happy in the tummy position and some completely loathe it! and it's ok!   This is the thing

When Pediatricians started the "back to sleep" campaign, encouraging parents to have babies sleep on their backs  a lot of babies started spending WAAAAY to much time on their backs,  detached parenting increases that time by having baby lay in bouncers, car seats, strollers, cribs and thus increasing babies with "flat heads"  or Plagiocephaly 

So being that parents need to be told how to parent by pediatricians (rolls eyes) they had to remind parents to actually pick up their children and put them in a position other than their backs and called it "tummy time" yaay! fun!! tummy time!! wee!  so the "back to sleep tummy to play" campaign was created  and it got so spread that even some AP parents believe that this is some sort of milestone or that the kid will not get into Harvard if they miss precious "tummy time". 

If you co-sleep, baby wear, actually hold your baby (like I am doing now while I write this)  your baby spends very little time flat on their backs  and it is not very likely their little heads will flatten.

Now I am not saying "don't do tummy time!" this is not the purpose of this post, what I am saying is.. if your baby doesn't spend too much time on their backs and they absolutely HATE tummy time.. it's ok! Please don't feel like there is something wrong with your baby and by all means don't force baby into doing it!  here are some great articles on tummy time 

http://www.regardingbaby.org/2010/09/20/no-tummy-time-necessary/

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/sids/prefers-sleep-tummy

http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/the-case-against-tummy-time-guest-post-by-irene-gutteridge/

http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/124365/tummy_time_is_unnecessary_and

Sgt Crunch's lonely moms club

I was preggo in this one lol... 

Cute title huh?   I always have trouble coming up with a relevant title.. I could have a whole post and then I use the most anticlimactic title ever!

I think  being more on the "crunchy" side of parenting (I am starting to hate that term but for the purposes of this post lets take it with a grain of salt shall we?)  can lead to loneliness sometimes.

This was very clear to me with my second child whom I parented differently than my first,  I was invited to a brunch by some old friends who are also mothers,  DD#2 was about 3 months old and the brunch was a "no children" type of deal, you know the kind that lots of moms look forward to (Including myself don't get me wrong)  Where they don't have to utter words like "no johnny"  "Stop sticking you hand down your pants"  "Stop throwing your goldfish on the floor" "come back here!"  and they can relax for a bit.

Well, I wanted to see all of them but I told them that unless I could bring my nursling I could not go because my daughter didn't take a bottle therefore I was her only source of food.  I expected maybe an ok,  sure you can bring her!  or maybe even a "well maybe next time we can do one and bring the kids"  Instead I got a: "oh that's too bad, I feel sorry for you, that's why I don't breastfeed I don't like being tied down".

WHAAAAA???   really? well too bad for her baby I guess if that's the only reason she didn't breastfeed.
After that message I didn't feel bad about not going,  I mean it was lame and it stung a bit but I figured I'd let the smug in me take over and  tell myself I was better off anyway.

There's plenty of times where I can't go somewhere that  was not child friendly because of not being able to leave them, but that's not my complain really,  I mean it wont be like this forever and nowadays my mind set is that of enjoying a quiet evening with my family who is my everything than to do anything else, there will be plenty of time for that later.

My complain is that it tends to alienate others around me,  especially other mothers it could be because they feel uncomfortable or it could be because I feel uncomfortable it really goes both ways..  So I get lonely,  I have a handful of friends who do come and visit us and I love them so much for that the adult interaction keeps my sanity in check.

On a day to day basis though I thank my lucky stars for all the like minded mommy friends I have found, they make me laugh and cry and feel not so lonely.. it's like I have a family out there all over the globe.. I wish I could meet them all in person just to give them a hug but for now this is good enough for me , I want them to know that they're not alone either I'm here for them as well...

Do you have an online bff?? have you ever gotten to physically meet them?

Happy New Year!

Boy it's been a crazy year!  Another homebirth, tandem nursing, a growing business, death of loved ones :(

I have not been here much because well, life got too crazy and my priorities changed.. I also started getting jaded with the "blogosphere"  particularly parenting related blogs, why? Because  people have so many different opinions and beliefs and who is one to say that one has all the answers?  I no longer care to read about how telling your kid about the tooth faerie is lying to them or how you must ban the color pink from your house.. or preachings of being gentle (which are good but realistically and in all honesty it doesn't always work that way)  I would much rather take advice from parents of adult children who are awesome people.. so that I can take in some knowledge from them, than to listen to a parent of a 10 month old about how they got this whole parenting figured out completely.

We are all constantly changing and growing, the fact that we have children doesn't mean we are done learning ourselves, we will learn new things, change our minds, start anew each day.. we will make mistakes and perhaps have regrets but it's all part of growing, we are far from perfect.

I want to start blogging again though..  I am not sure if I ever came across as preachy or like I had it all figured out.. if I did I apologize and if I didn't .. Phew!   I want to continue to put my thoughts out there for whoever wants to read them .... and perhaps if blogger is around that long... as a way my children can go back and have an insight as to how much their mom loved them and how silly and crazy she was though I think they would know that anyway as I damn hope I live to see my great grandkids.. though no one has guarantees on that but I'll be optimistic :)

Anyway...  Here's to 2012 and hope you don't mind seeing more of me :)

A mommy to 3 drama queens :)

photo courtesy of paiphotography.com