I've been wanting to write about tandem nursing for a bit, I've only been doing it for 3 months but ... (seriously? just 3 months?? I thought it was longer!) anyway.. things have changed so much since I wrote "my Journey to tandem nursing part I" here I am 10 months later and well things are interesting to say the least..
Let me take you through the rollercoater shall I?
I gave birth October 15th 2011 to a very hairy little one we named Briar Rhys, She was born in the water weighing 8lbs 2 oz! and though I thought she was weird looking at first (just like I thought of my other 2) She is now a beautiful smiling cooing squishy baby.
As soon as she came out she went straight to the breast! a big part was because my placenta wasn't coming out so good old nipple stimulation was needed so I nursed her and her sister had just woken up, she came and she didn't know what was going on but all she knew was that there was this mousy kid on one of her bahbah's and she at least wanted the other one while she figured it out..
So here I am laying down on a futon in my livingroom (yeah I use it as a couch and it was so handy to park myself there during labor and after) waiting on the placenta taking it all in and BAM! I got two babies suckling away.. and it was awesome! oh wait! my 22 month old just fell and wants some comfort bahbah.. *sigh...
So anyway where was I? oh yeah it was awesome, it was an accomplishment in itself... we made it through nursing through the pregnancy, through my milk drying up and now my sweet baby was getting some milkies again!
and then reality set in... This kid is a boob addict!! She wants it when she wants it and she won't take no for an answer!
|This is what happens when I say No!|
She doesn't understand that baby needs her milkies too and to be honest.. I try not to nurse them at the same time! I know some people can do it but not me, I can handle it for a bit but then my skin starts to crawl at the feeling, especially when their suckling goes at a different rhythm.. it's like the most annoying feeling ever.. and I want to get up and walk away! (Now I understand why my cat would sometimes up and leave dragging her poor kittens still attached to her and spilling them left and right, that cat had enough!)
So for the most part we try to work it out you know "roll with the punches" If I have a free boob and she wants it she can have it if I'm doing a serious nursing session where I want her sister to empty the boob as much as possible and get all the fatty milk and such we try to distract her if she wants a helping but sometimes it doesn't work so, I suck it up and nurse both for as long as I can mentally stand it. Motherhood being an act of sacrifice and all lol...
But then I see this and my heart melts!
Yes She sometimes reaches out to her and rubs her hand and holds her as if saying "Hi sister! thank you for sharing your milk with me I still need it very much!" *ok I'm teary eyed now!
So at night we all go to bed one big happy co-sleeping family Orion (22 month old) will go with her dad on his side and Briar Rhys with me on my side.. I nurse then both sometimes if they aren't asleep yet and we all go to sleep.. and then I wake up to this (I sleep topless by the way)
I am not trying to rip off "Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures" I swear! it's just that these moments I wish there was a way to take a picture of, for one there is usually no one there to see it.. (daddy leaves early for work) and also it would involve me showing you full boob which I am ok with but also a very messy room and hair and just a big hot mess that is I in the mornings before my coffee (yes I drink coffee and nurse *commence the hating) to my defense I did not become a slave to the bean as "crappy pictures" says until I had 3 kids! haah but anyway maybe her first crappy pictures post was because there are some things you can't explain other than with a crappy picture.. so anyway.. I wake up to this..
I'm laying there with the littlest nursling in the nook of my arm, and I wake up to feel a draft! No Mr. Banderas it's too early for sexy time.. go away.. oh wait what?? AHH! there is a toddler pulling the blanket away, looking at my bah bah about to latch on!! (seriously her smile in the mornings borderlines on creepy but it's actually cute and endearing) So in order to get a good extra 15-20 minutes of shut eye I let her.. that and if I don't she'll follow me around the house crying "why?? oh why?? bah bah!!!!"
So what's the point of this blog? It doesn't have one really.. this isn't to entice you to tandem, nor to steer you away, it's just my experience so far with it.. and just like with anything parenting related we must try our best and roll with it.. we can't control what we can't control, and we shouldn't control what we shouldn't control.. breastfeeding is so organic and beautiful and an adventure in itself.. take this from an ex-formula user (my poor 6 yr old but she's doing ok) The sole act of breastfeeding has made me rethink many choices and ways of thinking.. It is a truly unique experience! One that I will forever cherish and remember . What I have noticed from being a former formula user, formula is for one purpose and on purpose alone "eating" sure you can bond other ways and trust me I am not trying to put anyone down, if I read this back in 06 I would have gotten upset but now I know "the secret" while formula is about eating and baby gaining weight. breastfeeding is a relationship... it's a dance! it's the moment where you reconnect with your child and you are forced to sit down and take it all in... and well this momma is lucky to have 2 to share that with.
I'm not gonna do human milk a disservice by saying "it isn't for everyone" because it is! but circumstances vary, education varies, situations vary, emotions vary, people are different and while I can understand why some are put off by tandem or by nursing toddlers let me just say this..
I will not criticize you if you don't criticize me! You don't have to understand this dance if you don't want to but don't expect me to understand then your point..
This dance is a fun dance... it is rewarding, and annoying and rewarding and annoying..
If you are thinking about tandeming and nursing while pregnant reach out to la leche league, Search Kellymom.com, check out the leaky boob! and if your instincts tell you this is what you want, fight for it! you can also email me! ibbabies(at)gmail.com! I'll help with what I can!
it's not easy it's not glamorous but it is a dance worth dancing.
And with that said... I will nurse my babies and hope we go back to a world where nursing multiple babies.. or heck even nursing one baby is not a shocker anymore..
and yes... that's a slayer t-shirt ;)
Love! this rockin' momma! <3