Saturday, January 7, 2012

Sgt Crunch's lonely moms club

I was preggo in this one lol... 


Cute title huh?   I always have trouble coming up with a relevant title.. I could have a whole post and then I use the most anticlimactic title ever!

I think  being more on the "crunchy" side of parenting (I am starting to hate that term but for the purposes of this post lets take it with a grain of salt shall we?)  can lead to loneliness sometimes.

This was very clear to me with my second child whom I parented differently than my first,  I was invited to a brunch by some old friends who are also mothers,  DD#2 was about 3 months old and the brunch was a "no children" type of deal, you know the kind that lots of moms look forward to (Including myself don't get me wrong)  Where they don't have to utter words like "no johnny"  "Stop sticking you hand down your pants"  "Stop throwing your goldfish on the floor" "come back here!"  and they can relax for a bit.

Well, I wanted to see all of them but I told them that unless I could bring my nursling I could not go because my daughter didn't take a bottle therefore I was her only source of food.  I expected maybe an ok,  sure you can bring her!  or maybe even a "well maybe next time we can do one and bring the kids"  Instead I got a: "oh that's too bad, I feel sorry for you, that's why I don't breastfeed I don't like being tied down".

WHAAAAA???   really? well too bad for her baby I guess if that's the only reason she didn't breastfeed.
After that message I didn't feel bad about not going,  I mean it was lame and it stung a bit but I figured I'd let the smug in me take over and  tell myself I was better off anyway.

There's plenty of times where I can't go somewhere that  was not child friendly because of not being able to leave them, but that's not my complain really,  I mean it wont be like this forever and nowadays my mind set is that of enjoying a quiet evening with my family who is my everything than to do anything else, there will be plenty of time for that later.

My complain is that it tends to alienate others around me,  especially other mothers it could be because they feel uncomfortable or it could be because I feel uncomfortable it really goes both ways..  So I get lonely,  I have a handful of friends who do come and visit us and I love them so much for that the adult interaction keeps my sanity in check.

On a day to day basis though I thank my lucky stars for all the like minded mommy friends I have found, they make me laugh and cry and feel not so lonely.. it's like I have a family out there all over the globe.. I wish I could meet them all in person just to give them a hug but for now this is good enough for me , I want them to know that they're not alone either I'm here for them as well...

Do you have an online bff?? have you ever gotten to physically meet them?

2 comments:

  1. I have a few online friends that I'd love to meet. I've been blogging for over 8 years, and I have a few people who I've been chatting with and sharing with all that time. And it's been a busy 8 years.

    How sad that some people would give up breastfeeding so as not to be tied down. They grow up so fast, and you'll be on your own soon enough. I love this time.

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  2. That is obnoxious of them. I've turned down a lot of engagements because of my son, mainly ones at night as he nurses to sleep. Who knows what is said behind my back but I haven't had any negative comments to my face. I hope that I'm setting a good example for the friends who don't have kids yet.

    No one is on the same page with my parenting though. My only close friend with a child did sleep training - I think even CIO - although that was when we weren't as close so I wasn't around to be bothered by it. She is coming around to SOME of my crunchy ways and is supportive while surprised by my choices. Honestly, I am glad I don't have any "crunchy" mama friends only because I don't need to hear a mouthful when I can't afford organic food all the time, eat wheat/meat, etc. It is hard because I feel so sad for other people's babies when I see them getting less time & affection than I give my son.

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