Tummy time shmummy time!

I am part of mommy groups for my oldest baby and now my youngest,  we've discussed milestones and of course there is always the comparison some moms tend to do with their babies, being that this is my third, though I do not necessarily consider myself a pro I have been around the block a couple of times to reserve myself from such discussions, I am perfectly comfortable with my baby developing at her natural rate..

A subject that comes up that sort of bothers me is "tummy time" this is why.. 

If you are parenting with instinct.. meaning you pick up your baby when they need you to, you wear them, you co-sleep  and they spend minimal time on their backs YOU DON'T NEED IT! 

Some babies are happy in the tummy position and some completely loathe it! and it's ok!   This is the thing

When Pediatricians started the "back to sleep" campaign, encouraging parents to have babies sleep on their backs  a lot of babies started spending WAAAAY to much time on their backs,  detached parenting increases that time by having baby lay in bouncers, car seats, strollers, cribs and thus increasing babies with "flat heads"  or Plagiocephaly 

So being that parents need to be told how to parent by pediatricians (rolls eyes) they had to remind parents to actually pick up their children and put them in a position other than their backs and called it "tummy time" yaay! fun!! tummy time!! wee!  so the "back to sleep tummy to play" campaign was created  and it got so spread that even some AP parents believe that this is some sort of milestone or that the kid will not get into Harvard if they miss precious "tummy time". 

If you co-sleep, baby wear, actually hold your baby (like I am doing now while I write this)  your baby spends very little time flat on their backs  and it is not very likely their little heads will flatten.

Now I am not saying "don't do tummy time!" this is not the purpose of this post, what I am saying is.. if your baby doesn't spend too much time on their backs and they absolutely HATE tummy time.. it's ok! Please don't feel like there is something wrong with your baby and by all means don't force baby into doing it!  here are some great articles on tummy time 

http://www.regardingbaby.org/2010/09/20/no-tummy-time-necessary/

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/sids/prefers-sleep-tummy

http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/the-case-against-tummy-time-guest-post-by-irene-gutteridge/

http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/124365/tummy_time_is_unnecessary_and

Sgt Crunch's lonely moms club

I was preggo in this one lol... 

Cute title huh?   I always have trouble coming up with a relevant title.. I could have a whole post and then I use the most anticlimactic title ever!

I think  being more on the "crunchy" side of parenting (I am starting to hate that term but for the purposes of this post lets take it with a grain of salt shall we?)  can lead to loneliness sometimes.

This was very clear to me with my second child whom I parented differently than my first,  I was invited to a brunch by some old friends who are also mothers,  DD#2 was about 3 months old and the brunch was a "no children" type of deal, you know the kind that lots of moms look forward to (Including myself don't get me wrong)  Where they don't have to utter words like "no johnny"  "Stop sticking you hand down your pants"  "Stop throwing your goldfish on the floor" "come back here!"  and they can relax for a bit.

Well, I wanted to see all of them but I told them that unless I could bring my nursling I could not go because my daughter didn't take a bottle therefore I was her only source of food.  I expected maybe an ok,  sure you can bring her!  or maybe even a "well maybe next time we can do one and bring the kids"  Instead I got a: "oh that's too bad, I feel sorry for you, that's why I don't breastfeed I don't like being tied down".

WHAAAAA???   really? well too bad for her baby I guess if that's the only reason she didn't breastfeed.
After that message I didn't feel bad about not going,  I mean it was lame and it stung a bit but I figured I'd let the smug in me take over and  tell myself I was better off anyway.

There's plenty of times where I can't go somewhere that  was not child friendly because of not being able to leave them, but that's not my complain really,  I mean it wont be like this forever and nowadays my mind set is that of enjoying a quiet evening with my family who is my everything than to do anything else, there will be plenty of time for that later.

My complain is that it tends to alienate others around me,  especially other mothers it could be because they feel uncomfortable or it could be because I feel uncomfortable it really goes both ways..  So I get lonely,  I have a handful of friends who do come and visit us and I love them so much for that the adult interaction keeps my sanity in check.

On a day to day basis though I thank my lucky stars for all the like minded mommy friends I have found, they make me laugh and cry and feel not so lonely.. it's like I have a family out there all over the globe.. I wish I could meet them all in person just to give them a hug but for now this is good enough for me , I want them to know that they're not alone either I'm here for them as well...

Do you have an online bff?? have you ever gotten to physically meet them?

Happy New Year!

Boy it's been a crazy year!  Another homebirth, tandem nursing, a growing business, death of loved ones :(

I have not been here much because well, life got too crazy and my priorities changed.. I also started getting jaded with the "blogosphere"  particularly parenting related blogs, why? Because  people have so many different opinions and beliefs and who is one to say that one has all the answers?  I no longer care to read about how telling your kid about the tooth faerie is lying to them or how you must ban the color pink from your house.. or preachings of being gentle (which are good but realistically and in all honesty it doesn't always work that way)  I would much rather take advice from parents of adult children who are awesome people.. so that I can take in some knowledge from them, than to listen to a parent of a 10 month old about how they got this whole parenting figured out completely.

We are all constantly changing and growing, the fact that we have children doesn't mean we are done learning ourselves, we will learn new things, change our minds, start anew each day.. we will make mistakes and perhaps have regrets but it's all part of growing, we are far from perfect.

I want to start blogging again though..  I am not sure if I ever came across as preachy or like I had it all figured out.. if I did I apologize and if I didn't .. Phew!   I want to continue to put my thoughts out there for whoever wants to read them .... and perhaps if blogger is around that long... as a way my children can go back and have an insight as to how much their mom loved them and how silly and crazy she was though I think they would know that anyway as I damn hope I live to see my great grandkids.. though no one has guarantees on that but I'll be optimistic :)

Anyway...  Here's to 2012 and hope you don't mind seeing more of me :)

A mommy to 3 drama queens :)

photo courtesy of paiphotography.com