Hey facebook! Enough with the witch trials!

I think that would be a protest I would throw 100% support to. Before the leaky boob got the boot the first time, then a second time over a "mistake" .. (cough cough B.S cough..cough!). There had been many protests on facebook to reinstate pages, privileges, personal usage,pictures..etc.

There are many pages telling facebook that breastfeeding is not obscene.. before and after The Leaky Boob incident.. here are my 2 cents on that...

Remember the Salem Witch trials? Pretty much if you lived then, if you royally pissed someone off they would get to yell WIIITTTCHHHH!!!!!! and then you'd go to trial where you were GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT! <---The sad reality is that this is how some countries judicial system still works.

Witchcraft in this case is ------> Nudity, obscenity, the profane!

Ok now that we established that.. let's flash forward...and back ..and forward again.. (trust me! this will get interesting)

I don't want to bore you with legalities and you are not going to bother reading if this bores you .. so in the interest of keeping you reading I will do a light research..DUN! DUN! DUN! good old wikipedia! (Insert clapping and cheering) .

Now the reason I did this, was because while typing about the obscene.. this came to mind from my good old Government class...(over 10 yrs ago!)

(1)Former Justice Potter Stewart of the Supreme Court of the United States, in attempting to classify what material constituted exactly "what is obscene", famously wrote"I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced…but I know it when I see it…"

Now.. I didn't remember about Potter or even the whole quote.. I actually googled "I know it when I see it guy" How scholarly of me right? and then that came up which is what I was looking for.

and then the term obscenity, which is a good enough reason to "flag down" someone's page/photo according to facebook policy.

"An obscenity (in Latin obspenus, meaning "foul, repulsive, detestable") is any statement or act which strongly offends the prevalent morality of the time, is a profanity, or is otherwise taboo, indecent, abhorrent, or disgusting, or is especially inauspicious. The term is also applied to an object that incorporates such a statement or displays such an act.

In a legal context, the term obscenity is most often used to describe expressions (words, images, actions) of an explicitly sexual nature. The word can be used to indicate a strong moral repugnance, in expressions such as "obscene profits", "the obscenity of war", etc. It is often replaced by the word salaciousness" (1)

According to Merriam-Webster online dictionary, that which is obscene (i.e.: an obscenity) is quite simply defined as repulsive, or disgusting to the senses.(1)


EUREKA!!!!
with all of that said you can deduce, that by posting breastfeeding pictures, and that is not even the big picture! (there are other people being "bullied" by facebook for different reasons).. that according to some.. You are being obscene!!

If you go by the Merriam-Webster definition, someone could well see breastfeeding pictures as repulsive and/or disgusting to the senses! Sad but true!

Now flash back again...... Think of Facebook as Salem.

YOU royally Pissed someone off and they YELLED WITCH!!

The way their system works, you get flagged you are guilty until proven innocent, in my opinion THAT is what has to change, the way they handle such situations.

Facebook is not 100% the problem, they are happy collecting their money.. heck I bet Mark Zuckerberg was probably breastfed! haha! , the people that populate it are! Just like in real life!

They know it when they see it and it was obscene! and Facebook just rolled with it.. and eventually deemed it unfounded and fixed it.. but of course this will get handled according to the community uproar you cause!!! . No uproar???? you're a witch... maybe if your dead corpse floats you weren't. *shrugs.

So my call is to write to facebook let them know the way they uphold policies needs to change!

Facebook is just mimicking what goes on in the world outside the world wide web..
If the world were facebook ..that person that gave you a dirty look for nursing in public would have flagged you down, the male with her would have flagged you down as well while ogling at the low cut top blond walking by..

The person that told you that they were offended by you breastfeeding not only would have flagged you down they would have gotten their buddies and made a group against you!

And people like us? we think it's natural, beautiful, necessary! so as sad as the truth is.... we need to burst out of the bubble..

Nurse in public!! protest on facebook but go out and NIP as well! protests help but if you haven't nursed in public do so!! You don't have to whip'em out you can do it discreetly!!! Here 's a great video by The Leaky boob on how to do so! and if you see someone breastfeeding in public give them a nod and a smile! that is facebook's equivalent of the "like" button, and if you wanna go further tell them how great they're doing, hand them a thank you for breastfeeding card that would be the equivalent of making a leaky boob page!

THIS... is how we will make a bigger difference! By normalizing breastfeeding in anytime, anywhere! for our babies.. and the future ones!! <3>

*(1) taken from wikipedia.com -Obscenity

I am lazy therefore I Breastfeed...

I have been meaning to write about this for a while.. but alas I am lazy and I am a procrastinator.

It's true 10 months later I am still breastfeeding and though I am mentally "over it" at times, I know I will keep doing it like a bad habit.

See forget the benefits of breast milk, forget the fact that it's natural..With exception of the first couple of weeks roller coaster, It has got to be the most uncomplicated thing in my life, baby+boob= bliss for her and sometimes for me.

*Sure when they can drink their own bottle it's nice to have your arms free, but you gotta hold them lovingly once in a while right? Bam! I got that darn cuddling out of the way WHILE feeding her AND while spending time on facebook now that is some multitasking!I absolutely LOVE using it as an excuse to get hubby to fetch stuff for me, bunny (that's what I call my hubby) can you get me glass of water? Bunny can you give me the remote? Bunny can you get me a blanket? Bunny can you get me some crackers? After all I can't move, the baby is sleeping on me :D Bunny can you put the dishes away? I meant to do it right now but darn baby decided to nurse! Who can say no to a breastfeeding mother?

*When she's hungry and I don't feel like making her something BAM! here have some boob! (I remember Jessica from the leaky boob blogging about how sometimes she wished feeding her whole family were that easy..I agree)

* When it's time to go to bed there's no drama, no fuss, she nurses herself to sleep next to me, she gets hungry in the middle of the night? I don't have to get up and make her a bottle inf act I don't have to wake up she just finds a boob and helps herself!

*I can use her as an excuse to get out of talking to people when the convo gets boring at family events,, sorry gotta go nurse be back in a bit (even though I've been known to whip 'em out before heheh.

*I don't have to lug around a huge diaper bag, just put a couple of diaper inserts in my purse with some wipes and spray bottle and I'm good to go.

I can go on and on...Really it's not a lie.. breastfeeding is easy may not start that way for some but it gets easier...I am NOT ready to give that up no way baby! I don't care that you're turning a year! suck it up! (pun intended) because Mommy is too lazy not to feed you the good stuff oh and she'd be too jealous of the cows feeding you.

Are you a lazy breast feeder too?

Instinctive Parenting.

What does it mean to be an Instinctive Mother. I am not the one to coin this phrase, it's been used in the natural, attachment, granola parenting community, however it stuck with me.

Just the other day I heard of the term AP Lite for the first time, it means do everything AP except cloth diaper, but I'll come back to that in a bit.

I learned a lot with my first daughter, as a matter of fact I was all mainstream! My intentions were good but I didn't have all of the information and I thought things we supposed to be done certain ways.. (feed every 2 hours, my milk hasn't came in go get formula!, Cloth diapers are disgusting and waste more water by having to constantly wash them, boys are supposed to be circumcised to look like daddy, We got vaxed and we were fine!, Curse those breastfeeding Nazis and their plan to take over the world with their weapons of Mass production, Yaay my 9 month old is 20 lbs can she forward face now? I want to be able to see her!, How dare you judge my parenting..etc etc etc..)

However not even with my first daughter did I want to give birth in a hospital, but I ended up in one. My second daughter was a home birth and then I got the virus! The Crunchy Virus and it started spreading Home birthing lead to breastfeeding, which lead to delaying and skipping some vax, which lead to cloth diapering, which lead to being more "green", which lead to reaching out to others which lead to learning more about baby wearing, and EC, and Gentle parenting etc etc.. the Virus has spread... I have the crunchies.

Most of this came from my instincts! It just felt right.. take vaccines for example you can read my thoughts on them on my post The gray area of Vax debate. THAT was a perfect example on how my instincts came to play... I did what my instincts told me.. maybe yours tell you to fully vax, maybe yours tell you you'll be happier not using cloth but you are gunge-ho about everything else! Maybe you are just learning about it.

the bottom line is to listen with your heart...

A blog I really admire called PhD in Parenting (actually they are the reason I started blogging) posted an article by Diana West from IBCLC called There is No Doctrine for Attachment Parenting: Being AP is a Frame of Mind! reprinted on Kellymom.comin it she explains how you don't have to follow AP to a T and maybe you even physically can't but basically:

"An AP parent is one who wholeheartedly believes that children are inherently good and that by fostering an atmosphere of complete trust and intimacy, a bond is created that provides those children with the foundation and security to become their best selves. It really has little to do with the tools we use to be Attachment parents. All that is important to qualify us to be an Attachment Parent is simply that we parent from an Attachment Parenting frame of mind"

So AP lites! you are fully AP! if you don't cloth diaper it doesn't make you less of a parent! You follow your heart! You follow your instincts.. Read the whole article it made me feel so good when I did.

Mothering has no instruction manual, society and mainstream websites, programs, stores have created one for us to dictate what we should buy or consume (think unnecessary baby gadgets and formula, or even unnecessary medical procedures and Meds) It all boils down to money. We instinctual mothers know that if all hell breaks loose.. our babies will still have everything they got their mommas breasts and their mommas arms and ladies and gentlemen that is ALL a baby needs to thrive.But dads, partners, relatives don't get me wrong... when all hell breaks loose for us, which is pretty much everyday all mommy needs is your support so she can support her baby.i

t takes a village!

So you see I am an instinctual mother I listen to my baby and I would love to spread how easier life really does get when you stop giving into big company rubbish of what a happy baby is.

To my beautiful girls..

I have been blessed with two wonderful, beautiful girls... they are everything I imagined having them would be... I had my first daughter my little chick-ey monkey almost 5 years ago and I learned a lot... She has been my life my joy my reason to be here! I had my second daughter chub chub almost a year ago... she has been my rebirth as a mother, a wife, a nurturer, a human. I often worried how in the world I could love another child like I love my chick-ey monkey... how did parents have enough love for more children? HOW? it had to be a lie! how could I have another child and have that child intrude on my love for chick-ey monkey

Chick-ey monkey was going to be a single child... I had waited a bit after she learned to use the potty and things were easier, however I ended up coming across a couple of adults who happened to have no siblings, one said he wasn't unhappy, he had lots of friends and cousins but that he did wonder.. another one said she was miserable not as a child but now as an adult to not have her mother and possibly not long in the future not have her father and become all alone as they did not have other relatives near. It got me thinking.. Chick-ey monkey could possibly question or be sad about being a single child but she would NEVER question why I had her sister... as I have never felt bad about having a brother.. I adore my baby brother he is my best friend!

Hubs and I got married on our 8 yr anniversary, the month before my IUD fell off and we saw it as a sign... 10 days after the wedding we conceived Chub chub! Which brings me back to Chick-ey monkey... from watching too much "a baby story" I knew I did NOT want to go to a hospital but I was too scared to have her at home, so I planned to deliver at a birthing center, to make along story short I had her in a hospital, got booby trapped, didn't breastfeed like I wanted to.. etc etc.. I was a pretty mainstream mother but I will write about that later as this is not the point of this post. Chub chub was my rebirth as a mother! I had carried Chick-ey monkey's painful experience with me until her.. I had a beautiful home birth and 10 months later we're breastfeeding with no end in sight, we cloth diaper, co-sleep, baby wear, selective /delayed vax, we're in crunchy heaven!which brings me to this...

Dear Chick-ey monkey:

I love you, you were my first love, with you I learned to be a mother, I waned different things for you but yet you thrived, you have had a fighting spirit, you have been stubborn, smart, dramatic and you know what? I have a special bond with you because you remind me of myself!!! I know one day when you're a teenager we're going to fight and you might even dislike me or *gulp hate me... but I have been there with my own mother ... and I now as a mother appreciate her .. I hope I live long enough to see your children and to have you appreciate me.. I hope I never fail you as a mother and I hope above all you know you are loved and that I have many faults but I am trying my best to raise you to be a kind hearted, loving, intelligent, contributing human being\. I think you have all the potential I have but that I never used.... I want to change the world but I don't know where to start.. I hope your generation does find a solution. Above all don't worry! the world is not fair, and there are many things wrong with it but it is a good place... with good people you just have to look hard! Don't let t.v fool you ;)

I love you lots and I hope to be there for you until I am old an crotchety and don't worry I wont be an annoying old mom... Well I'll try. You are my sunshine!

To Chub Chub:

Man Oh Man!! I didn't think I would have room in my happy little heart for more love and you came! And OH MAN!! I love you!! I looove you sooooo much it hurts!!, you're such a happy, lighthearted, content baby! And I feel a connection to you that only breastfeeding can explain.. I have a bond with you and you are definitely an old soul... many people tell us that.. I sometimes fear you are too special to be with us, and I freak out.. but lately I have convinced myself that you are special because you will change the world. I hope to hold your babies in my arm.. I hope to see all your accomplishments... I hope to make you proud.You're a kind gentle soul... I almost feel not worthy of being blessed to be your mother.. but I am! and being your and your sister's mother is what I was born to be! And now I can't wait to see my grand kids! I hope they are as cool as you.

UGH... I hate writing these kind of blogs... halfway through I freak out that maybe I will die and people will be looking back at this.... how morbid huh... well more paranoid then anything but bottom line I love my kids! It's an experience no one but people with kids would know... silly but yes.

But this letter is to be continued.... I would love now to have more ..

I admit it... I'm bored!

I admit it.... I am a bored housewife!

but look a my lovely family, how dare I complain!

I am not going to justify or lessen my statement by saying "Don't get me wrong", think what you will, but when it comes down to it I am bored!

That does not mean I want a 9-5 job, nor do I dislike where I am at. As a former latchkey kid whose parents were too busy to celebrate milestones, attend school programs, all for worthy reasons like keeping food on the table and a roof over our heads, I decided I'd do things differently.

Let me explain who I am.. I'm an intelligent, opinionated, creative, talented, passionate, social, caring, feisty, stubborn, amazing woman! GOSH THAT FELT GOOD! I hardly ever describe myself as that, I am usually a mom, a wife, a gentle parent, a crunchy mom, a leaky lol.... nothing bad in that but I feel like along the way pieces of me have been getting lost.

I've been a bit lost and it's been bugging me, I wake up get dressed, get the children dressed, clean kitchen, make breakfast, clean kitchen, take kids to school (I have 2 "daytime" children in addition to my own) come back, breastfeed baby so she can nap, get on the computer because she will only nap on my lap, nap is over, eat, lunch, get some chores done, go pick up one of my daytime kids (her school is shorter) come back put her down for a nap, clean some more.. unless baby wants more boob. Pick up children from us stop, feed them snack, make dinner, give my daytime children back, daddy comes home we eat, he showers, he takes the girls to give me a break I watch my show and shut my mind off, I go to sleep and do it all over again.. day after day except weekends when I only have 2 kids instead of 4.

Nothing exciting, nothing stimulating..most days I feel like a Zombie. I want to contribute something important I want to change the world... I convince myself that I am contributing less trash by cloth diapering and I am changing the world by breastfeeding in public the limited times I do go out... Yaay me!

I roll my eyes at my single, or childless friends whose facebook updates consist of I'm off to the gym" "I'm going to Vegas" "Let's go dancing"... whose pictures consist of slutty outfits and drunken nights.... I miss the glory days. Seriously.. enjoy yours if you have them!

YES there are MANY MANY MANY rewards to having children I LOVE them with all of my being int he good times AND the bad, everything I do is for them and to me it is sooo worth it and though I wouldn't trade them for anything I still miss my autonomy.

IS it wrong to miss it? Should I feel ashamed and sad? Should I suck it up?

A friend of mine gave an article "The problem that has no name"
it dawned on me that I have the housewife syndrome!

I think this is why many of us blog, amongst other things...
I think that more women need to start talking about that..
I think we have a right not to be scared to talk about it for fear of being judged..
I think there is nothing wrong in feeling this way

but.. I think this is also a complicated issue that requires much dialogue...

I hardly use my blog to vent but perhaps it's not such a bad idea...

DUDE! where's my leaky b@@b?...

What a shock it was today to get a text from my friend Christy telling me that our beloved page, "The Leaky b@@b" had been deleted from facebook.

Back in August another breastfeeding related page shared a cute blog post called "oh My Gosh..I'm a LACTIVIST!" the post made me smile and made me realize that I too was a lactivist.. someone who with DD#1 I had previously misunderstood. I now was one, and I was delighted to realize it.. I read other posts by her and immediately "liked" the page for the blog on facebook.

What was different about the page is that people actively participated, Jessica the author of the blog interacted with it's followers on a daily basis, engaging in conversations, giving advice, making us laugh, supporting us. The page was not hostile, was not preachy, we all had a sense of camaraderie whether we breastfed, used to, planned to or couldn't. The page was really for support. I quickly felt at home and made many friends, it became my haven, my sanity not just for breastfeeding but for many of motherhood's challenges.

And with that text came shock! It was gone! but....
not for long! Bring back the leaky boob was created and 12 hours into its creation the page had 4000 followers, the leakies moved quickly and TLB spport was created for support and questions which is what the leaky boob was about.

Why was the leaky boob removed? Breastfeeding pictures... sweet pictures of cherubic faces being nurtured and showing no more skin than you would see in a bikini, which by the way you can find lots off on Sports illustrated swimsuit on facebook. Does that seem fair to you?

Facebook is punishing the wrong people while catering to others.. we need pages like the leaky boob!

what can you do?

if you are in the Palo Alto area there will be a nurse-in at facebook's headquarters Friday January 7th 2011 at 12:30pm

1601 S. California Ave. Palo Alto, CA 94304



write to your local news...

write to the Today show myself and others have done this if they get enough emails it might work.. if you want me to make a letter you can copy and paste let me know..

Tell Marc Zuckerberg how you feel on this discussion (be nice!).

change your profile picture

BUT most important.. stick together, please stop by and spread the word about TLB support because the most important thing is that leakies that need support, advice, encouragement and answers receive it!

They can take away the page but they can't take away our spirit of helping!

Toddler Formula marketing, what the %$%$?

The mail arrived... bills, junk mail, coupons.. and a new issue of one of those free parenting magazines, usually they go straight into the recycling bin because just like when watching "A Baby Story" on TLC , rarely is it helpful and often it is unnerving.

I was bored however and decided to flip through it.. oh yaay another Gerber ad, (glad my baby is not part of that generation!) ...ooh the newest stroller, (yaay I like my sling better!). The newest baby trends (Blech!) and then this... (You know the infamous chocolate formula but not chocolate anymore)

On the website it states:

"When your toddler is transitioning to new foods, ensuring complete nutrition can become more of a challenge. That's why we created Enfagrow PREMIUM Toddler, to help make sure he gets the nutrients he still needs — even after he outgrows infant formula"

See I've been on the other side of the coin, I formula fed my first and I remember the shock I got, to learn that WIC would be cutting us off from formula right at 12 months! I bought more formula and slowly "weaned" her off it and onto whole milk.. (boy I had no clue back then) I guess back then I would have felt relieved a thing such as this was available.

What bugs me is the fact that nowhere on that particular page does it have a disclaimer suggesting that breast milk is STILL best.. the other formulas they have marketed towards infants do! Can anyone tell me why they're off the hook on doing so, with toddler formula?) I guess they believe like many others that at 12 months you HAVE to wean a child. A better statement would have been:

"When your toddler is transitioning to new foods, ensuring complete nutrition can become more of a challenge. That's why your body still produces perfectly customized milk to help make sure he gets the nutrients he still needs"

on a page from Kellymom.com about extended breastfeeding (tough I feel the use of the word "extended" about something normal is arguable) there are many resources quoted including this one!

•In the second year (12-23 months), 448 ml of breast milk provides:
◦29% of energy requirements
◦43% of protein requirements
◦36% of calcium requirements
◦75% of vitamin A requirements
◦76% of folate requirements
◦94% of vitamin B12 requirements
◦60% of vitamin C requirements
-- Dewey 2001

There are many informative videos and resources out there! Even the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until at least 2!.

I sure do wish I had the money to buy advertising on magazines in order to "sell" "toddler breast milk".

As one mom's review on the Enfamil site stated:

"Easy on the go!
Just scoop some in a container, bring a baby bottle or cup of measured water and you're ready to quench your toddler's thirst when you are out and milk is not available (mall, beach, etc.)"

Maybe someone could reply to my fantasy ad campaign,

"Easy on the go!
Just put your toddler to the breast to quench his thirst when you're out and milk is not available (mall, beach, etc)"

Now which one seems easier?